December
28, 2003 Happy
New Year? Not without Hermansen
First,
the Dodgers let go of Troy Brohawn. Then, Daryle Ward signed with
Pittsburgh. And now, as if it can't get any worse, Chad Hermansen
has agreed to a minor league deal with the Blue Jays, ending his
Dodger career and dealing a huge blow to the team's hopes for 2004.
Although he wasn't recognized by most of his teammates (or his family),
Hermansen was undoubtedly a fan favorite. That fan is Sergio from
West Covina. Sergio collected all two of Hermansen's baseball cards,
and kept track of Hermansen's RBIs throughout the season. Good thing
Sergio can count to two. When Hermansen's average dipped to below
.100 in mid-September, Sergio didn't lose faith. And thanks to that
faith, Hermansen finished the season batting .160. Any coincidence
that Hermansen's only extra base hit of the season came on July
9th, Sergio's 8th birthday? After Hermansen was sent back to the
minors in late July, Sergio wrote a note to Chad—although Sergio's
father mailed the letter to Chad Kreuter by mistake. But that's
irrelevant now, anyway. Hermansen is with the Blue Jays, and Sergio's
heart has been crushed. Happy New Year? Not for Sergio.
December
23, 2003 Dodgers
still ho, ho, horrible
Blame
it on Frank McCourt. Blame it on Dan Evans. Hell, you can probably
find a way to still put the blame on Kevin Malone. But any way you
slice it, the Dodgers of today are far worse than the Dodgers of
2003. True, the winter isn't over, but it's not looking good. While
other teams have gone out and made some significant moves, the Dodgers
have sat quietly, waiting for Nomar. Although during that wait,
they managed to blow a few million on Robin Ventura, Alex Cora,
and Wilson Alvarez—all of whom are cheap excuses for real players.
When Kevin Brown was traded earlier in December, it looked like
they'd have have some money to spend. Now, however, it's becoming
increasingly clear that the Brown deal was strictly a cost-cutting
move, one designed to ease the transition to the Dodgers' new poverty-stricken
owner. And all the while, Todd Fuckin' Hundley is still on the team.
Todd FUCKING Hundley. No, we can't let go of that one. The man is
a complete waste of space. Utterly useless. Often drunk. And just
slightly overpaid—by about $8 million or so. Let's all get
into the spirit and pray to Christ that Todd Hundley is abducted
by aliens. On that note, Dodger Blues wishes its loyal visitors
a great Christmas. Just one word of caution: Don't accidentally
dig into the Dodgers' Christmas stocking, because it's been filled
with shit.
December
16, 2003 Hide
the tamales: Dodgers re-sign Alvarez
The
Dodgers finally decided to think big on Monday—"big"
being the size of Wilson Alvarez's tummy. After putting together
a solid couple months to finish up the 2003 season, Alvarez was
rewarded with a new $1.5 million contract. Alvarez, hurt for five
years prior to joining the Dodgers, went 6-2 with a 2.37 ERA in
2003. So what are the chances of a repeat? Well, just about as good
as the chances of Jim Tracy developing a personality. Alvarez did
wonderful things last year, but that was last year. It was a fluke.
But with the loss of Kevin Brown and the impending departure of
Odalis Perez (whether the Dodgers get Nomar or not), the Dodgers
are suddenly desperate for pitching. So their number three starter
is now Wilson Alvarez. That's not good. A rotation of Nomo, Ishii,
Alvarez, Weaver, and Jackson is not good. Ishii blows, Alvarez loves
dessert, Weaver is inconsistent and mediocre at best, and Jackson
is totally unproven. Nomo is the only truly good pitcher in that
rotation, and frankly he's overdue for a shitty season. Good stuff.
December
13, 2003 Well,
it's a first step
Juan
Encarnacion is no Vlad Guerrero. But thankfully he's no Jeromy Burnitz
either. On Saturday, the Dodgers acquired Encarnacion from Florida
in exchange for a player to be named later. As long as the player
to be named later isn't named Eric Gagne, this ranks up there as
one of Dan Evans' better moves. Encarnacion has speed, is good defensively,
and has some pop in his bat—not enough pop to suddenly give
the Dodgers a potent offense, but it's a step. And, believe it or
not, Encarnacion doesn't have a history of injuries. With all that
said, he'll probably spend half the season on the DL and hit .245
with nine home runs. Let's face it, that's just what happens when
guys like that come to Los Angeles. But for the moment, at least,
it's not a bad move. Encarnacion figures to make around $5 million
in 2004, which is a bargain compared to what the Dodgers are going
to pay Todd Hundley to sit on the bench... or Darren Dreifort to
put band-aids on himself. The acquisition of Encarnacion (whose
name in Spanish must have something to do with meat) fills a hole,
but also raises some questions: Will he play right, and push Green
to first? Will he play center and push Roberts off the team? Will
he play left, effectively eliminating the possiblity of the Dodgers
signing Rickey Henderson halfway through the season? Will the letters
of "Encarnacion" even fit on a uniform? And if they do,
will he take number 43, despite Raul Mondesi's unintelligible pleas
to have that number retired? And more importantly, is Jeff Treadway
still available?
December
11, 2003 Dodgers
Yanked? We'll see
Pulling
the trigger on a deal many thought wouldn't be made, the Dodgers
sent billion-dollar Kevin Brown to the Yankees on Thursday, in exchange
for two minor leaguers and $3 million in cash. It was unfortunate
that the Dodgers couldn't sneak Todd Hundley into the deal—after
all, would the Yankees even have noticed his $9 million salary?
Christ their pockets are deep—almost as deep as the shit Dan
Evans is going to be in if he doesn't use this opportunity to do
something pretty goddamn huge—and pretty goddamn soon. Whether
the Nomar for A-Rod deal goes through or not, the Dodgers can no
longer get away with picking up a Paul Konerko, a Todd Walker, or
a Reggie Sanders (not that we would have allowed them to get away
with that in the first place). Kevin Brown may have had his injuries,
and he may have had an insane salary, but he still had value—which
makes accepting Jeff Weaver a tough one to swallow. Weaver is a
mediocre pitcher—in fact, sort of crappy—and he's being
paid more than a mediocre pitcher should be paid, but what's new?
This deal, however, can't be about Weaver. It has to be aboout Nomar.
Or Vlad. Or Mike Morgan. (Just seeing if you're paying attention.)
There's talk of Pudge Rodriguez, but he'd command too large a salary,
and he's getting to the age where catchers go bad. Besides, there's
nothing wrong with Lo Duca and Ross. Add a bat, but you don't need
it behind the plate. But back to the Brown deal. As bad as Dan Evans
is, the fact is the Dodgers are still in a lousy situation, still
fucked by Kevin Malone and a lack of minor league talent. If dealing
Kevin Brown gives them some wiggle room to fit in some guys who
can actually swing the bat, it's a deal that had to be made. Undoubtedly
the loss of Brown (soon to be followed by Odalis Perez) erodes a
once-brilliant pitching staff, but hell, Nomo can pitch every other
day. And we can count on Dreifort, of course, to be back 100%...
for a few days, at least. So, the jury is still out on this one,
but two things are clear: first, someone ignored our warning yesterday
and woke Dan Evans, and second, the Yankees had better start Brown-proofing
their clubhouse.
December
10, 2003 Shhhhhhhh.....
don't wake Danny.
After
all, if we wake him, he's liable to deal Odalis Perez for Tom Goodwin.
Or Edwin Jackson for Jesse Orosco. Or sign Robin Ventura to a million
dollar contract. Oops. Too late on that one. Regardless, let him
sleep. Let him drool on himself. Let him shit himself. Let him fester
in his own urine. But for the love of God, don't wake the jackass.
While other teams have been active for weeks, Dan Evans has been
eerily quiet this offseason. Some think it's because he's waiting
for direction from new ownership. Some think other GMs around the
majors are just waiting to dick him at the last minute. Others think
he's simply a moron. While all of the above are probably true to
some extent, we know the truth: he's been studying for the parking
enforcement officer exam. Knowing his GM days are numbered, and
realizing that no Dodger GM has ever landed another job in baseball,
Dan hopes to become a meter maid. A couple months from now, when
you park in a 15-minute zone for 16 minutes, and return to your
car to find an $80 ticket, you'll have Old Danny to thank. As for
now, though, he's laying low. But that doesn't mean he's without
a plan. While he lost out on Richie Sexson and Derrek Lee, look
for Evans to pursue Eric Karros, Todd Zeile, and Jose Vizcaino.
Dope.
First,
the Dodgers let go of Troy Brohawn. Then, Daryle Ward signed with
Pittsburgh. And now, as if it can't get any worse, Chad Hermansen
has agreed to a minor league deal with the Blue Jays, ending his
Dodger career and dealing a huge blow to the team's hopes for 2004.
Although he wasn't recognized by most of his teammates (or his family),
Hermansen was undoubtedly a fan favorite. That fan is Sergio from
West Covina. Sergio collected all two of Hermansen's baseball cards,
and kept track of Hermansen's RBIs throughout the season. Good thing
Sergio can count to two. When Hermansen's average dipped to below
.100 in mid-September, Sergio didn't lose faith. And thanks to that
faith, Hermansen finished the season batting .160. Any coincidence
that Hermansen's only extra base hit of the season came on July
9th, Sergio's 8th birthday? After Hermansen was sent back to the
minors in late July, Sergio wrote a note to Chad—although Sergio's
father mailed the letter to Chad Kreuter by mistake. But that's
irrelevant now, anyway. Hermansen is with the Blue Jays, and Sergio's
heart has been crushed. Happy New Year? Not for Sergio.
Blame
it on Frank McCourt. Blame it on Dan Evans. Hell, you can probably
find a way to still put the blame on Kevin Malone. But any way you
slice it, the Dodgers of today are far worse than the Dodgers of
2003. True, the winter isn't over, but it's not looking good. While
other teams have gone out and made some significant moves, the Dodgers
have sat quietly, waiting for Nomar. Although during that wait,
they managed to blow a few million on Robin Ventura, Alex Cora,
and Wilson Alvarez—all of whom are cheap excuses for real players.
When Kevin Brown was traded earlier in December, it looked like
they'd have have some money to spend. Now, however, it's becoming
increasingly clear that the Brown deal was strictly a cost-cutting
move, one designed to ease the transition to the Dodgers' new poverty-stricken
owner. And all the while, Todd Fuckin' Hundley is still on the team.
Todd FUCKING Hundley. No, we can't let go of that one. The man is
a complete waste of space. Utterly useless. Often drunk. And just
slightly overpaid—by about $8 million or so. Let's all get
into the spirit and pray to Christ that Todd Hundley is abducted
by aliens. On that note, Dodger Blues wishes its loyal visitors
a great Christmas. Just one word of caution: Don't accidentally
dig into the Dodgers' Christmas stocking, because it's been filled
with shit.
The
Dodgers finally decided to think big on Monday—"big"
being the size of Wilson Alvarez's tummy. After putting together
a solid couple months to finish up the 2003 season, Alvarez was
rewarded with a new $1.5 million contract. Alvarez, hurt for five
years prior to joining the Dodgers, went 6-2 with a 2.37 ERA in
2003. So what are the chances of a repeat? Well, just about as good
as the chances of Jim Tracy developing a personality. Alvarez did
wonderful things last year, but that was last year. It was a fluke.
But with the loss of Kevin Brown and the impending departure of
Odalis Perez (whether the Dodgers get Nomar or not), the Dodgers
are suddenly desperate for pitching. So their number three starter
is now Wilson Alvarez. That's not good. A rotation of Nomo, Ishii,
Alvarez, Weaver, and Jackson is not good. Ishii blows, Alvarez loves
dessert, Weaver is inconsistent and mediocre at best, and Jackson
is totally unproven. Nomo is the only truly good pitcher in that
rotation, and frankly he's overdue for a shitty season. Good stuff.
Juan
Encarnacion is no Vlad Guerrero. But thankfully he's no Jeromy Burnitz
either. On Saturday, the Dodgers acquired Encarnacion from Florida
in exchange for a player to be named later. As long as the player
to be named later isn't named Eric Gagne, this ranks up there as
one of Dan Evans' better moves. Encarnacion has speed, is good defensively,
and has some pop in his bat—not enough pop to suddenly give
the Dodgers a potent offense, but it's a step. And, believe it or
not, Encarnacion doesn't have a history of injuries. With all that
said, he'll probably spend half the season on the DL and hit .245
with nine home runs. Let's face it, that's just what happens when
guys like that come to Los Angeles. But for the moment, at least,
it's not a bad move. Encarnacion figures to make around $5 million
in 2004, which is a bargain compared to what the Dodgers are going
to pay Todd Hundley to sit on the bench... or Darren Dreifort to
put band-aids on himself. The acquisition of Encarnacion (whose
name in Spanish must have something to do with meat) fills a hole,
but also raises some questions: Will he play right, and push Green
to first? Will he play center and push Roberts off the team? Will
he play left, effectively eliminating the possiblity of the Dodgers
signing Rickey Henderson halfway through the season? Will the letters
of "Encarnacion" even fit on a uniform? And if they do,
will he take number 43, despite Raul Mondesi's unintelligible pleas
to have that number retired? And more importantly, is Jeff Treadway
still available?
Pulling
the trigger on a deal many thought wouldn't be made, the Dodgers
sent billion-dollar Kevin Brown to the Yankees on Thursday, in exchange
for two minor leaguers and $3 million in cash. It was unfortunate
that the Dodgers couldn't sneak Todd Hundley into the deal—after
all, would the Yankees even have noticed his $9 million salary?
Christ their pockets are deep—almost as deep as the shit Dan
Evans is going to be in if he doesn't use this opportunity to do
something pretty goddamn huge—and pretty goddamn soon. Whether
the Nomar for A-Rod deal goes through or not, the Dodgers can no
longer get away with picking up a Paul Konerko, a Todd Walker, or
a Reggie Sanders (not that we would have allowed them to get away
with that in the first place). Kevin Brown may have had his injuries,
and he may have had an insane salary, but he still had value—which
makes accepting Jeff Weaver a tough one to swallow. Weaver is a
mediocre pitcher—in fact, sort of crappy—and he's being
paid more than a mediocre pitcher should be paid, but what's new?
This deal, however, can't be about Weaver. It has to be aboout Nomar.
Or Vlad. Or Mike Morgan. (Just seeing if you're paying attention.)
There's talk of Pudge Rodriguez, but he'd command too large a salary,
and he's getting to the age where catchers go bad. Besides, there's
nothing wrong with Lo Duca and Ross. Add a bat, but you don't need
it behind the plate. But back to the Brown deal. As bad as Dan Evans
is, the fact is the Dodgers are still in a lousy situation, still
fucked by Kevin Malone and a lack of minor league talent. If dealing
Kevin Brown gives them some wiggle room to fit in some guys who
can actually swing the bat, it's a deal that had to be made. Undoubtedly
the loss of Brown (soon to be followed by Odalis Perez) erodes a
once-brilliant pitching staff, but hell, Nomo can pitch every other
day. And we can count on Dreifort, of course, to be back 100%...
for a few days, at least. So, the jury is still out on this one,
but two things are clear: first, someone ignored our warning yesterday
and woke Dan Evans, and second, the Yankees had better start Brown-proofing
their clubhouse.
After
all, if we wake him, he's liable to deal Odalis Perez for Tom Goodwin.
Or Edwin Jackson for Jesse Orosco. Or sign Robin Ventura to a million
dollar contract. Oops. Too late on that one. Regardless, let him
sleep. Let him drool on himself. Let him shit himself. Let him fester
in his own urine. But for the love of God, don't wake the jackass.
While other teams have been active for weeks, Dan Evans has been
eerily quiet this offseason. Some think it's because he's waiting
for direction from new ownership. Some think other GMs around the
majors are just waiting to dick him at the last minute. Others think
he's simply a moron. While all of the above are probably true to
some extent, we know the truth: he's been studying for the parking
enforcement officer exam. Knowing his GM days are numbered, and
realizing that no Dodger GM has ever landed another job in baseball,
Dan hopes to become a meter maid. A couple months from now, when
you park in a 15-minute zone for 16 minutes, and return to your
car to find an $80 ticket, you'll have Old Danny to thank. As for
now, though, he's laying low. But that doesn't mean he's without
a plan. While he lost out on Richie Sexson and Derrek Lee, look
for Evans to pursue Eric Karros, Todd Zeile, and Jose Vizcaino.
Dope.