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> JULY 2009 July 31, 2009 - Dodgers 5, Braves 0
Meanwhile, Ned Colletti is holding his moustache high, as George Sherrill inherited a 2-on, no-out situation in the bottom of the seventh and struck out the side. To celebrate—or to make sure none of his new teammates ever talk to him—Sherrill then walked around the dugout with a piece of tissue shoved up his left nostril. Sherrill, that’s a girl’s name. July 30, 2009 - Dodgers 5, Cardinals 3
Here's my other issue with this deal: If you're willing to trade two of your top fifteen prospects for a relief pitcher, why wouldn't you instead use those guys as part of a package for someone who might actually make a difference in the postseason... say, oh I don't know... maybe Roy Halladay? Yeah, you'd have to throw in three or four more of your top prospects, but with Matt Kemp, Andre Ethier, James Loney, Clayton Kershaw, and Chad Billingsley looking like they're going to be around for awhile, how many prospects do you truly need to hoard? Roy Halladay is reason to bet the farm. George Sherrill is not. July 28, 2009 - Cardinals 10, Dodgers 0
Meanwhile, the Dodgers had more hits than the Cardinals… and lost by ten runs. Nine of the Dodgers’ eleven baserunners were stranded (and the other two erased on double plays), and the heart of the Dodgers’ order went a combined 1-for-15. Chad Billingsley kept the Dodgers in the game for five innings before bending over in the sixth when he gave up four walks, three singles, and six runs. Wouldn’t be so bad if Cardinals fans weren’t so fucking smug. July 27, 2009 - Cardinals 6, Dodgers 1
All told, the Dodgers had nine hits and drew three walks—all for one run. Of course their offense wasn’t the only problem. Casey Blake made an error that led to two unearned runs and the Dodger relief pitching… well, they sucked. Of the eight batters James McDonald, Brent Leach, and Guillermo Mota faced, they allowed four hits and a walk. Only Hong-Chih Kuo escaped unscathed, and he hadn’t pitched in almost three months. But don’t worry—Ned Colletti is on the case. Armed with a moustache, an affinity for veterans, and a fetish for guys who’ve played for the Giants or Red Sox, Ned Colletti is busy working the phones and the streets. The latest guy on his radar? Bronson Fucking Arroyo. He has a 2.08 ERA over his past three starts (and a 5.21 ERA for the season), he’s only owed $1.5 million through the end of the season (and $11 million the next two years), and he pitched in Boston for three seasons (giving up more hits than innings pitched). Sounds like Ned’s kind of guy. Let's deal Kershaw for him. July 25, 2009 - Dodgers 4, Marlins 3
Since I’m clearly not the best person to be recapping the ninth inning (which I hear ended on a bloop single from Casey Blake), I’ll focus on what I did see earlier in the game: highlights of Hollywood Stars Night from 1997, which included the likes of James Van Der Beek, Ian Ziering, Tom Arnold, and Meat Loaf. I did find it a little odd that they’d be showing twelve year old highlights so I did a little poking around… and it turns out the highlights were actually from the Hollywood Stars game that had just taken place hours earlier… with the likes of James Van Der Beek, Ian Ziering, Tom Arnold, and Meat Loaf. Gee, I guess Betty White was busy. July 20, 2009 - Dodgers 7, Astros 5
The Dodgers, however, came right back with four runs in the bottom of the first, and added two more in the second on a Manny Ramirez home run. Meanwhile, the Reds packed it in and managed just a hit and two walks off Schmidt over the next four innings—each of which saw his velocity decline about 14 mph. Schmidt ended up making 81 pitches (about 80 more than I figured he’d make) and came away with his first win in more than two years. The victory gives Schmidt a total of two as a Dodger, lowering his salary per win to just over $23 million. Hey, only six more wins before his value exceeds that of Darren Dreifort. Cool, that should only take him another three or four years. July 19, 2009 - Dodgers 4, Astros 3
Terrific that the Dodgers split the series with Houston after losing the first two games, but are they really playing like a team with the best record in baseball? Wait, I didn’t ask that well. Let me try it like this: Are they really playing like the best team in baseball? No, they’re not. They’re not blowing away their opponents, their pitching isn’t spectacular, and half their starting lineup is in a prolonged slump. So how are they 24 games above .500? Simple: they’re winning the close games. And while there’s certainly something to be said for that, it’s a pretty precarious place to be. A blooper here, an error there, and luck becomes a real bitch. Look, all I’m saying is don’t come crying to me when they lose twelve in a row by one run and suddenly find themselves in third place. But on to the $47 million dollar news: Jason Schmidt is starting tomorrow against the Reds—pretty much because the Dodgers have no other choice. His rehab assignment is over, so the Dodgers either had to return him to the DL, release him, or activate him. Officially, they’ll probably send Blake DeWitt back to the minors to make room on the roster for Schmidt, but I wouldn’t be surprised if DeWitt “accidentally” misses his flight considering the Dodgers’ faith in Schmidt. “We’re going to see what we have,” said Joe Torre. (Translation: I’ll have Jeff Weaver ready in the second inning just in case.) “The shoulder is not the same shoulder as it was three years ago,” said trainer Stan Conte. (Translation: He may very well lose his arm on Monday.) “I think it's going to be nice to come back and actually feel like he's useful again,” said Randy Wolf. (Translation: If he doesn’t stick in the rotation, he can keep busy by polishing my shoes.) July 16, 2009 - Astros 3, Dodgers 0
On Thursday night, of course, Dodger fans welcomed Manny back with open arms, forgiving him without even waiting for a home run. Ramirez struck out twice, flied out, and singled, but it didn’t matter—fans cheered him like he just saved the flag. Or maybe there just wasn’t anything else to cheer about. The Dodgers’ lead in the West shrunk to six and a half games, as they lost to Houston, 3-0. The score was 1-0 when Randy Wolf left in the seventh, but quickly grew to 3-0 after Guillermo Mota had faced two batters. Meanwhile, the Dodgers were 0-for-8 with runners in scoring position. They put two on with nobody out in the seventh, but Juan Pierre struck out (after a standing ovation), Rafael Furcal struck out, and Andre Ethier grounded out. Apparently three days rest wasn’t enough. July 12, 2009 - Dodgers 7, Brewers 4
The Dodgers’ victory gives them a record of 56-32 going into the All-Star break, the best mark they’ve had at this point in a season since 1977—when Rick Monday, incidentally, batted .230. Since we’re at the break, it seems like a good time to check in on the status of a few of my predictions from April.
July 8, 2009 - Mets 5, Dodgers 4
Among the nineteen Dodgers base runners were nine who reached on walks. Nine walks, nine hits… and four runs? The Dodgers hit into two double-plays (including one to end the game with the tying run at second), left the bases loaded twice, and generally just blew a golden opportunity to jump all over a pitcher who entered the game with a 9.97 ERA and hadn’t taken the mound in more than two months. Two of the coldest Dodgers hitters stayed that way, with Orlando Hudson and Andre Ethier going a combined 0-for-10, but on a brighter note, Rafael Furcal raised his OBP to .326—only about 50 points shy of where a leadoff man should be. Congrats, Rafael. Meanwhile, Hiroki Kuroda had another lousy outing, giving up four earned runs in just 4-1/3 innings. Over his last six outings, Kuroda’s ERA is near six. That must explain why the Dodgers GM has his eye on an old favorite. July 5, 2009 - Dodgers 7, Padres 6
Baseball—one minute magical, the next minute a total nightmare. Through eight innings, Chad Billingsley had made only 91 pitches. He had given up just two hits, was getting ahead of almost every Padres batter, and to top it off, had hit his first major league home run—a solo shot in the fifth inning. With the Dodgers leading 6-1, Joe Torre let Billingsley start the ninth inning, and rightly so. But after giving up a leadoff home run to Chase Headley, that should have been it. It wasn’t, and Billingsley gave up a double to Tony Gwynn’s oddly thin son. So with a guy on second and nobody out, Torre turned to Broxton. And Broxton turned to mush. He walked three, gave up two hits, and when he walked off the mound at the end of the inning—only because Eliezer Alfonzo slipped off the third base bag—the score was tied 6-6. Hey, everybody has a bad day, including Jonathan Broxton. But here’s the problem: he shouldn’t have been left out there to make 38 goddamn pitches. After two batters it was obvious he didn’t have it—why is Torre sitting in the dugout with his thumb up his ass? You can’t afford to lose a Sunday afternoon game to the pathetic Padres when you’re up by five going into the ninth inning. You just can’t. Yet, Torre was letting it happen. Thankfully for Billingsley, Broxton, Torre, and the Dodgers offense that blew two bases-loaded opportunities earlier in the game, James Loney led off the thirteenth inning with his sixth home run of the year, and Jeff Weaver threw three hitless innings to put an end to Padres. Must have been a real disappointment to the classy Padres fan sitting behind home plate who spent much of the later part of the game pulling his shirt up, thrusting his crotch toward the pitcher, and sticking his ass in the air. July 3, 2009 - Dodgers 6, Padres 3
The Dodgers won, by the way. They scored as many runs in the first inning as they had in the previous three games, and held off San Diego, 6-3. Rafael Furcal had four hits, the Dodgers got three scoreless innings from Guillermo Mota, Ramon Troncoso, and Brent Leach, and Jonathan Broxton picked up his 20th save. (Amazingly, I figured out all of that without the help of Twitter.) July 1, 2009 - Dodgers 1, Rockies 0
Now on to San Diego and the day the Dodgers have been waiting for: the potential return of Claudio Vargas. Oh, and that other guy also. To make room for Manny on the roster, the Dodgers are playing musical chairs. Hong-Chih Kuo will be moved from the 15-day DL to the 60-day DL, Mitch Jones has been designated for assignment, A.J. Ellis has been optioned to the minors, Eric Stults is being activated from the DL, and Vargas is completing his rehabilitation assignment. In other words, who cares.
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When Jason Schmidt takes the mound these days, you can’t help but wonder if he’ll even make it through the opposing team’s lineup… if he’ll top 80 mph… if each pitch will be his last. On Friday night in Atlanta, the only thing I wondered is what the Braves must have been thinking to themselves as they walked back to the dugout, one after another after another. Jason Schmidt pitched six scoreless innings, giving up just one hit and striking out three. He was hardly brilliant, as he walked five, but tell that to the Braves, who entered the game as the best hitting team in July. Even Schmidt couldn’t believe it: “Very surprising,” he said.
We all agree, of course, that the Dodgers' bullpen needs help. After blowing two leads on Wednesday night, they blew another on Thursday—this time by Guillermo Mota in the 7th inning. And yes, we can all probably agree that George Sherrill is a pretty decent relief pitcher, having saved 51 games for the crappy Orioles over the last two seasons. But there’s the first problem: he's a closer, which doesn't automatically make him a good setup man. And then there's the other problem: what the Dodgers gave up to get him. Josh Bell, 22, was ranked by Baseball America as the Dodgers' No. 8 prospect. Steve Jonhson, 21, was ranked No. 15. Neither may amount to anything, but you don't get ranked No. 8 and 15 if you're without promise. In fact, I'd say there’s a better chance of Bell or Johnson establishing themselves in the majors than there is of Dodger fans remembering a reliever named George Sherrill two years from now.
With the trade deadline fast approaching, it’s no secret the Dodgers were looking for relief pitching. On Tuesday night in St. Louis, the Dodgers introduced their solution: Mark Loretta. Down 10-0 in the eighth, Joe Torre pulled Brent Leach and called in Loretta—from the dugout. It had been eight years since Loretta pitched, but you’ve got to give him credit since it only looked like it had been six or seven. Loretta’s first pitch hit Matt Holiday, but he settled down to retire Ryan Ludwick on a little fly ball to the wall. Loretta didn’t quite have the emotion of Mickey Hatcher, the velocity of Robin Ventura, the mechanics of Chris Donnels, or the intimidation of Jeff Hamilton, but he got the job done… which is certainly more than can be said of late for most of the guys in the pen.
The Dodgers lost 6-1 on Monday night in St. Louis, but let’s focus on the good news: Randy Wolf got a decision. And, even more good news: the Dodgers only left 11 guys on base because they hit into four double plays. Without those double plays (two of which belonged to Manny Ramirez), they might have left 15 guys on base, and that’s just embarrassing.
I had an exhausting week so I hope the Dodgers don’t take offense that I fell asleep while watching the game Saturday night—with two outs in the ninth inning. I vaguely recall seeing Manny strike out, and that’s about it. About a half hour later I woke up to the horrific stench of my own gas and noticed the post-game show was on. Oh well, what’s another walk-off victory?
I must admit, I never thought I’d see Jason Schmidt on the mound at Dodger Stadium again. Then, once he took the mound on Monday evening, I never thought I’d see him walk off it. Giving late-arriving fans plenty of time to see him, Schmidt was on the mound for almost a half hour in the first inning—and a bizarre one at that. There were delays (first, for a video review of a ball off the wall, and then when a bat went flying into the Dodger dugout), there were mistakes (Manny Ramirez giving a 40% effort on a foul ball, Russell Martin throwing a ball into centerfield, and Andre Ethier looking at Matt Kemp while a fly ball dropped at his feet), and then there was Jason Schmidt. Throwing meat, Schmidt watched the Reds’ first three batters hit the outfield wall. Throw in a walk, and Schmidt ended up making 36 pitches—in the first.
The Dodgers continue to have the best record in baseball—mainly because they continue to have the best luck in baseball. On Saturday, the Dodgers got two runs in the first inning thanks in part to Carlos Lee playing a single into a triple. Five innings later, Mike Hampton gave the Dodgers a run by misfiring the ball into his own glove. Three innings after that, a bad call robbed Houston of a run. On Sunday, the breaks went the Dodgers way again. Down 3-2 in the seventh, the Dodgers saw Astros reliever Alberto Arias drop two balls—one while covering first and one while trying to make a throw home. The latter error allowed Matt Kemp to score the tying run. Kemp later homered to give the Dodgers a 4-3 lead, and Jonathan Broxton closed it out for the win.
Manny Ramirez didn’t rape anyone or kill anyone, as he so kindly pointed out, but if he had, I’m pretty sure Dodger fans would forgive him. I’m certainly not suggesting that he go on a raping or killing spree, but I’m just saying… after getting out of prison on good behavior, he’d probably have a place to finish his career. Just think, the Dodgers could turn the first row of seats in Mannywood into “Death Row,” and they could hand out rape kits to the first 30,000 women in attendance. “We all make mistakes,” fans would say.
Clearly afraid he’d be laughed out of the All-Star Game for his 4-for-47 slump, Orlando Hudson apparently decided to fatten up on a couple of Milwaukee’s finest bratwursts before Sunday’s game. Either that, or someone just shook the crap out of him and told him to get with the program. His two home runs—one from each side of the plate—helped the Dodgers knock off the Brewers, 7-4. Brad Ausmus joined in the fun as well, hitting his first homer of the season, and Manny Ramirez had three hits. Clayton Kershaw went six innings and gave up just a run (despite walking five), and Hiroki Krapoda followed by giving up three runs in an inning and a third. The game’s key moment, however, came during the fifth inning when Rick Monday read an ad for the Mangroomer, the do-it-yourself electric back hair shaver. No word on whether Charley Steiner tested it out in the booth.
On Tuesday night, the Dodgers left thirteen guys on base… and won 8-0. Since it worked out so well for them on Tuesday, they tried it again on Wednesday night. Sadly, the result was slightly different, as the Mets hung on to win, 5-4.
Chad Billingsley and Jonathan Broxton were announced early Sunday as National League All-Stars. To celebrate, they went out and pitched the ninth inning from hell. That’s putting it nicely, which I’m only doing because they eventually won the game in thirteen innings. Had they lost, I wouldn’t call it “the ninth inning from hell” so much as “the day the Dodgers bent over, took it in the rectum, and then curled up and died.”
Thankfully, Manny Ramirez has finally returned. I say thankfully not because of the help he brings to the Dodger lineup, but because I’m tired of this whole episode and I just want to move on with my life. If that means having to ignore what he did, so be it. I certainly don’t condone whatever illegal shit he did, but let’s face it—he’s an athlete with a questionable history, not the President of the United Fucking States. He’s never been the squeaky clean type of guy, and he’s certainly not a role model; in fact, I don’t think any athlete should be a role model. You want someone to be a role model—how about a kid’s fucking parents? I know, crazy idea. But I digress… which is exactly my point: I’M TIRED OF THIS. I just want to watch baseball, not dwell on Manny Being Asshole. But maybe I’m all alone. After all, the LA Times pulled out all the stops for Friday night’s Manny event: four columnists at Petco Park, inning-by-inning updates from Kevin Baxter at latimes.com, up-to-the-second reports on the mood of Dodger fans on Twitter, live posts during the course of the game on Dodger Thoughts, Diane Pucin blogging live on the Fabulous Forum, and live comments direct from the grave of Jim Murray. Holy Christ, people. Does anyone out there ever just sit and watch a game, or does everyone need constant stimulation from fifty sources at once? Seriously, Vin Scully isn’t enough?
For the Dodgers, the month of July began much like the month of June ended: quietly. After being shut out on Tuesday night, limited to just two hits, the Dodgers came right back Wednesday with the same lack of energy and inability to swing the bat. Thankfully for the Dodgers, the three hits they had through the first seven innings were one more than the Rockies were able to manage. Then, in the eighth, it all came together for the Dodgers: a single by Brad Ausmus, a bunt from Juan Castro, and a pinch single from Rafael Furcal scoring pinch-runner Russell Martin with the eventual game-winning run. Two hits and a bunt. Imagine that.