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Evidently the Dodgers have decided to get an early start on their
second-half spiral. In losing their second in a row Sunday evening,
their lead over the Diamondbacks was cut to a game and a half, and
their momentum has been stopped dead in its tracks. A day after
managing only 4 hits, the Dodgers did one better, picking up 5 hits
against two Angel pitchers. Starter John Lackey got his first major
league win, a first that seems to come often at the expense of the
Dodgers. By the way, David Ross?
While one game doesn't say much, the Dodgers showed Saturday night
that they're certainly not invincible. Managing only three singles,
the Dodgers were shut out by Aaron Sele, 7-0. Kazuhisa Ishii started
for L.A. and did what he's been doing all year, getting behind hitters
and walking too many—only this time, the Dodgers gave him no
run support. Aside from his pitching, there's a bigger problem with
Kaz: he's about 3 months overdue for a haircut.
Trying to prove to the world that there's something left in his
67-year-old arm, Terry Mulholland pitched a scoreless inning on
Thursday night. Thankfully, however, no one is dumb enough to believe
he suddenly doesn't suck. Speaking of sucking, the Dodgers... no,
wait a second. They don't suck. There's something wrong. What the
hell is going on? Why is this happening? Who are these people? Did
I leave the iron on? The Dodgers banged out 13 hits en route to
a 7-1 win over the Rockies on Thursday, extending their lead in
the NL West to 2 1/2 games. Jesus.
Well, look at it this way: Eric Gagne got another day off. A day
after completing a sweep of the Boston Red Sox with a 9-run outburst,
the Dodgers offense apparently had nothing left. Mike Hampton, who
has pretty much sucked this year, limited the Dodgers to just a
run, and the Rockies came away with a 4-1 win. Kazuhisa Ishii allowed
only an earned run over seven innings, but an error by Cesar Izturis
in the first inning led to two unearned runs, more than enough for
the Rockies on Monday. Give it a week and the Dodgers will be in
4th place.
Looking very much like a team planning on playing through October,
the Dodgers completed a sweep of the Red Sox on Sunday, knocking
Boston out of first place in the AL East. More amazing, the Diamondbacks
lost to the Blue Jays, and the Dodgers are finally in first place,
all alone. That should pretty much guarantee the Bob Brenly pulls
a shithead move when it comes time for him to pick reserves for
the All Star Game. Four Dodgers are deserving of the honor, but
since dickface Brenly ultimately makes the decision, expect no more
than two to be selected. Regardless, the Dodgers of late are playing
better ball than they have in years. The offense wasted no time
Sunday, staking Andy Ashby to a 9-0 lead in the third. Ashby faltered
a bit in the middle innings, but the Dodgers hung on to win, 9-6.
Of course Jim Tracy had to fuck around in the 9th, putting Terry
Mulholland in to pitch, but Terry surprised us all by only allowing
a run and lowering his ERA to 9.68. Way to go, Terry!
The better the Dodgers play, the less fun this website is. Unfortunately—or
fortunately, depending on where your interests lie—the Dodgers
have been playing pretty damn well. Down three runs early to Red
Sox ace-of-late Derek Lowe, the Dodgers bounced back in the fifth
to take the lead, eventually hanging on to win, 5-4. A rare dumb
play by Cesar Izturis cost the Dodgers a run in the eighth, but
Paul Quantrill-Trombley got a big DP and worked out of the jam.
Eric Gagne, appearing for the fourth day in a row, had a rough ninth
(meaning he didn't strike out the side), but got Carlos Baerga to
ground out with the tying run on third. As stupid as Jim Tracy is,
at least he had the sense to go to Gagne again, regardless of how
many games in a row he had pitched. Boring fucking website. How
'bout some tits?
The Red Sox have the best record in baseball, but Friday night the
Dodgers proved that... hmm... well, they didn't really prove anything,
but they won, 3-2. In one of his most dominating performances, Eric
Gagne struck out the four Boston batters he faced, giving fans a
taste of a playoff atmosphere long missing from Dodger Stadium.
Gagne now has 26 saves in 27 opportunities, though six fans in the
upper deck were reportedly overcome by fumes from his algae-ridden
hat.
There are three scoreboards at Dodger Stadium, but apparently none
are in Hebrew. Shawn Green lost count of the number of outs in the
sixth inning on Thursday night, thinking his catch of Tom Wilson's
flyball was the final out. Instead, it was only the second out,
and as Green rounded the right-field corner with the ball in his
glove, Raul Mondesi rounded third base, easily scoring all the way
from second. That run brought the Blue Jays within one, and almost
brought tears to Green's eyes. Odalis Perez got out of the inning,
however, and the Dodgers held on to win, 2-1. And what do you know...
Arizona won.
The Dodgers scored five runs in the first inning Wednesday, then
picked their asses for the remaining eight. Thankfully Ishii was
able to hold the Jays to a couple runs over 7 innings, and four
Dodger relievers closed it out, the Dodgers winning 5-2. With Arizona's
loss, the Dodgers are now a game back of first. Shawn Green provided
the big blow in the first, hitting a 3-run homer deep into the right
field bleacher. Ishii capped the inning with a 2-run single, picking
up his first two RBIs of the year. Now, if he could just pick up
a fucking scissors... jesus he needs a haircut.
The not-so-much anticipated return of Raul Mondesi to Dodger Stadium
was rather uneventful. Now in his third season with Toronto, Mondesi
went 0-for-4, and unfortunately didn't launch into a profanity-laced
tirade over Davey Johnson or Kevin Malone (see 
The Dodgers kept pace with the Diamondbacks on Sunday, coming from
behind to beat the Angels, 5-4. Down 4-1 in the 6th, the Dodgers
got back-to-back home runs from Eric Karros and Marquis Grissom,
and Mark Grudzielanek's run-scoring single an inning later proved
to be the difference. Eric Gagne continued to dominate, pitching
1 2/3 innings, striking out the side in the ninth, and picking up
his 23rd save. Continuing to morph into the closer role, it seems
Gagne has matured years since last season. Likewise, Gagne's hat
has aged about 11 years since April. That filthy fucking thing must
stink like Mike Fetters' balls.
The worst team in baseball beat the hell out of the Dodgers on Tuesday
night. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays, who had won only 20 games all season
and were last in the American League in almost every offensive category,
scored 9 runs in the fifth en route to an 11-2 victory. Omar Daal,
who bitched and moaned early in the season about not being given
a chance to start, has sucked horribly now that he's in the rotation.
Daal was charged with nine runs over 4 2/3 innings, meaning he's
given up 21 earned runs in three starts since he replaced Kevin
Brown. THIS is the Omar Daal we all know. A little nervous now,
Dan Evans?
Despite a rocky ninth, the Dodgers held on and beat the Orioles
for the second game in a row, 2-1. After losing his previous two
games, Odalis Perez came back with a strong outing on Sunday, allowing
only a run and striking out a career-high ten over eight innings.
Despite fanning the final three hitters he faced and having made
only 98 pitches, Jim Tracy brought in Eric Gagne to pitch the ninth.
Yeah, yeah, Gagne is the closer and his job is seal a tight game,
but what the hell happened to common sense? If Perez had been struggling
late in the game, fine. If his pitch count was high, fine. But when
you've got a pitcher sailing along, JUST FUCKING LEAVE HIM IN. As
it turned out, Gagne picked up his 21st save despite the Orioles
getting a guy to third with nobody out, but why bother? You don't
know if Gagne is bringing his good stuff, but you know damn well
that Perez had his. Note to Jim Tracy: It's okay to occasionally
ignore "the book" and instead use your boring, puny brain.
Just
when it looked like they'd be shut out in their first interleague
game against the Orioles, the Dodgers fought back in the ninth...
just not enough. Shut out on only three hits for the first eight
innings, the Dodgers made Rodrigo Lopez look like Greg Maddux. Finally
in the 9th, the bats came alive. Too little, too late, however,
as the Dodgers only managed to pick up two runs, leaving the tying
runs on second and third. The highlight of the game occurred in
the 6th, when Spanish radio announcer Pepe Iniguez joined Vin Scully
on the air to correctly pronounce the name of Rodrigo Lopez's hometown.
For the record, the proper pronunciation is "WHO-GIVES-A-SHIT."
Kevin
Brown is 37 and beginning to decompose. It's as simple as that.
Already on the DL for the second time this season with an elbow
injury, Brown checked into Centinela Hospital on Monday with a back
protrusion. Doctors will most likely find that the protrusion is
Brown's ability trying to escape his rotting corpse. While Brown
is hooked up to a respirator, let's hope someone steals his wallet
and returns his $105 million to the rightful owner. Prick. 
The
Dodgers managed only two hits Saturday afternoon against Brian Andersen,
but they made them count. Cesar Izturis singled to lead off the
4th inning, and two outs later Jordan connected for his 10th home
run of the year. Andy Ashby completely shut down the Diamondback
offense, pitching 8 scoreless innings and allowing only 5 hits.
Eric Gagne picked up his major league leading 19th save with a 1-2-3
ninth, adding some more sweat stains to his moldy cap.