> JUNE 2006

Andre Ethier should go to Raging Waters more often. Despite losing to Scot Shields on the water slide Thursday, Ethier had three hits on Friday night to lead the Dodgers to a 6-1 victory over the Anaheim Angels. Ethier had two singles and a 2-run homer, making him 10-for-17 against Anaheim this year. Meanwhile, Brad Penny actually went seven innings for a change, giving up just a run and notching his ninth victory of the season. Bartolo Colon, looking like he swallowed Odalis Perez, gave up all six of the Dodgers' runs, five of which were earned.

The Dodgers' victory over Anaheim is their first against an American League team on the road in a couple of years. It also ends their three game skid, a streak which came at the heels of a four game winning... which came after a five game losing streak. Clearly, the Dodgers need to figure it out. Are they worthy of being in first place, or are they only capable of beating teams like Pittsburgh and Colorado? They had a lousy month of June and their schedule for July—which includes seven games against the Cardinals—doesn't get any easier. At least almost all of 'em will have some time to relax during the All Star break. God knows they weren't elected to the team.

June 27, 2006 - Twins 9, Dodgers 2
Seo long to a pitcher, a prospect, and common sense

Less than three months ago, Dioner Navarro was the Dodgers' catcher of the future and Jae Seo was the Dodgers' fourth starter. Tuesday, they were tossed in a box and traded for a mediocre pitcher and an unecessary catcher. While the trade certainly says something about the job Russell Martin has done and the job that Seo hasn't, it also says something about Ned Colletti's inability to comprehend value. We can't argue trading Navarro or Seo, but we do argue with the timing, which dictated the crap the Dodgers got in return.

Since Navarro was acquired in exchange for Shawn Green after the 2004 season, his value has never been as low as it is today. He's fresh off the DL, fresh off a poor rehab assignment, and fresh off of the loss of his starting job. Likewise, Seo's stock has been falling ever since the Dodgers picked him up in the offseason. Seo lost his spot in the rotation, was demoted to the bullpen, and then was relegated to a mop-up role. Sure, on the one hand you want to dump these guys before they get any worse, but if the Dodgers believed in them in the first place, wouldn't they believe that they'd snap out of their funk and eventually build up some value?

The idea of value is key, as well, with Mark Hendrickson, the pitcher sent to the Dodgers from the Devil Rays. Hendrickson, whose last name is almost as long as his torso, is coming off of three very mediocre seasons, posting ERAs of 5.51, 4.81, and 5.90. Suddenly, he's got a 3.81 ERA, and Ned Colletti has a hard-on. We're talking about a pitcher (a former basketball player, at that) who's proven over the long haul that he's not very good, but Colletti likes the way he's pitched the last three months. Hendrickson's value has never been higher. And we ask you this: If a guy—at the peak of his value—can only fetch Dioner Navarro and Jae Seo at the depths of their value, how good do you think he is? And save Carl Crawford, how good could anyone on the Devil Rays be? There's a reason they're fifteen games out of first place. Is that really the team you want to be plucking guys from?

There's even more to laugh at with this trade. Along with Hendrickson comes Toby Hall—a catcher. "Toby is an experienced catcher who will serve us well both behind the plate and off the bench," said Colletti. Um, ok... did he forget that Sandy Alomar Jr. is already filling that role? I mean, we sometimes forget about Sandy, so maybe Colletti did too.

You've also got to find it funny that Colletti gave up on Seo so quickly, a guy he just had to have a few months back. The Seo trade was one of Colletti's first, and one of the worst in recent memory. Along with Seo, the Dodgers got Tim Hamulack, who couldn't throw strikes and is now melting away in Las Vegas. To get Seo and Hamulack, of course, the Dodgers gave up Duaner Sanchez, a dude who pitched well in two seasons with the team and is having a great season with the Mets. Meanwhile, the Dodger bullpen is a disaster.

It's also interesting that Seo has ended up with the Devil Rays. Before the Dodgers picked him up, the Mets had dangled him in front of the Devil Rays, hoping to land Danys Baez. Both Seo and Baez ended up in L.A., and both have been total nightmares. If only Tampa Bay had agreed to the Seo for Baez trade, the Dodgers might be ten games in first place right now.

Instead, they're slipping again, losing 9-2 to the Twins on Tuesday. In two games, Minnesota has scored seventeen runs and knocked out 26 hits. Nine of the hits belong to Joe Mauer, who the Dodgers should start treating like Barry Bonds.

One more note on the earth-shattering trade. The Dodgers still owe the Devil Rays a player to be named later. Here's Colletti's chance to redeem himself: make Baez or Lance Carter the player to be named later.

June 26, 2006 - Twins 8, Dodgers 2
Twins stop Dodgers' streak

Prior to Monday night, the last Dodger to take the mound in Minnesota was Sandy Koufax. Chad Billingsley is no Sandy Koufax. Hell, on Monday he wasn't much better than Sandy Duncan. Billingsley went five and two-thirds innings, giving up six runs on seven hits and seven walks. Fewer than half his pitches were strikes. That the Dodgers' four game winning streak ended wasn't all his fault though—he got no support from the bullpen or the offense. Hong-Chih Blow allowed both runners he inherited to score, Danys Baez gave up two runs in his only inning of work, and the Dodgers managed just six hits against Carlos Silva (a guy who started the game with an ERA over six and a half) and Jesse Crain (a guy with an ERA over five).

It was clear from the first inning that Billingsley didn't have much. After Torii Hunter narrowly missed a grand slam in the first inning, you got the feeling the rookie pitcher was going to be in for a long night. So far, the most memorable thing Billingsley has done in three starts is drive in two runs with a base hit. How long will the Dodgers stick with an unspectacular Billingsley before they move Jae Seo back into the rotation? We don't know, but we do know that the Metrodome is the ugliest thing ever constructed.

June 25, 2006 - Dodgers 7, Pirates 0
It's like stealing money from the blind

The Dodgers completed a three-game sweep of the Pirates on Sunday, the first time the Pirates have been swept since... well, the end of last week. Pittsburgh has now lost 11 in a row and is something like 47 games out of first place. "There's nobody in the American or National League that's going to feel sorry for us, that's for sure," said Jim Tracy after the game. Oh really? "You feel for teams like that," said Kenny Lofton.

Sunday's victory gave the Dodgers their fourth consecutive win and lifted them back into first place—a distinction that clearly means very little at this point in the season in the NL West. Andre Ethier had three hits, Nomar Garciaparra hit the 200th home run of his career, and Brad Penny pitched a whopping five innings. In his last eleven starts, Penny has gone more than six innings just once. It's understandable for mediocre guys like Brett Tomko, Aaron Sele, and Jae Seo to run out of steam in the middle innings, but isn't Penny the Dodgers' number two starter? Dude really needs to lay off the Ding Dongs and work on his endurance. It's one thing to go five innings when you've got a bullpen that's capable of going four, but we're talking about Odalis Perez, Hong Chih Kuo, and Danys Baez. Anything less than eight out of your starter is frightening.

The Dodgers now fly to Minnesota to play the Twins, fresh off a sweep over the Cubs. It's the Dodgers' first appearance in Minnesota since Game 7 of the 1965 World Series, when Sandy Koufax threw a 2-hitter to beat Jim Kaat. Twins fans will notice that the Dodger team has changed slightly since those days. Wes Parker retired a few years back, Maury Wills has lost a step or two, and Sweet Lou Johnson isn't quite as sweet. And sadly, Ricky Ledee is on the DL.

June 24, 2006 - Dodgers 7, Pirates 0
Tracy goes to school

A young lefty in the lineup against a left-handed pitcher? When Jim Tracy was managing the Dodgers, he just as soon jump off a cliff than make out a lineup that didn't play the percentages. On Saturday night, as he sat in the Pirates dugout absorbing his team's tenth loss in a row, maybe he learned a little something. Andre Ethier, making his first start this year against a lefty, went 2-for-4 and knocked in the Dodgers' first four runs. Olmedo Saenz, Matt Kemp, Russell Martin, and Jeff Kent contributed to the Dodger offense, but it was Ethier (now hitting .444 against lefties) who drove Zach Duke to cover. While it was tough watching Adrian Beltre return with a bang earlier in the week, it was pure joy to watch Jim Tracy suffer at the hands of Grady Little's common sense—a quality Tracy never seemed to develop. (Of course, there's a decent chance that Grady Little didn't even know that Duke is a lefty, but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Even stranger than seeing a left-handed rookie in the starting lineup against a lefty was seeing the Dodger pitchers throw a shutout. Aaron Sele threw six scoreless innings (despite a fastball that topped out at about 64 mph), and three Dodger relievers sealed the deal. Clearly, the Pirates really suck.

June 21, 2006 - Mariners 8, Dodgers 5
Maybe it's something in the water?

No, it's not something in the water. Clearly, this whole thing was premeditated. The moment he signed with the Mariners, Adrian Beltre formed his plan. He'd struggle the first year and a half, hit about .250, and get Dodger fans thinking that they're better off without him. Then he'd wait for just the right moment—a moment when Dodger fans had begun to smile again—and strike them down like they've never been struck before. He'd come to town, cordially say hello, and then set fire to their homes, their children, their genitalia. Beltre burned the Dodgers on Tuesday, and on Wednesday, he did it again: 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, and a stolen base. His two-run double in the eighth inning drove in the go-ahead runs, and drove Dodger fans to the hospital. In two games against the Dodgers, Beltre is 5-for-7 with 6 runs scored, 4 RBIs, and 2 walks. J.D. Drew, who the Dodgers were able to sign with Beltre's money, has gone 0-for-8, stranding six guys on base.

The source of your nausea, however, isn't Beltre alone. You're nauseous because of the Dodger bullpen, clearly one of the worst they've ever had. (In an inning and a third Wednesday, Jonathan Broxton and Danys Baez gave up six runs.) You're nauseous because the Dodgers keep making mental mistakes. (Russell Martin threw through to second base in the third inning Wednesday with a guy on third, allowing him to score.) You're nauseous because they've begun to fall in the West. (In first place a few days ago, the Dodgers are now two games back of San Diego.) You're nauseous because you've eaten way too much of that nacho cheese sauce. (General tip: if it comes out of a pump, it's not good for you.)

The Dodgers have now lost five in a row and six of the last seven. It had to happen sooner or later. This is what the Dodgers do. They find a way to engage you—this year, it's been the influx of rookies—and then they make you miserable. And even though we know better, we fall for it every goddamn year. Ten days ago, against our better judgement but succumbing to the growing excitement, we praised the Dodgers. We acknowledged the obstacles they'd overcome to reach first place, we spoke highly of their minor league staff, and we even complimented Dan Evans and Paul DePodesta. Since then, the Dodgers have one win.

June 20, 2006 - Mariners 9, Dodgers 4
Adrian, the homewrecker

Nothing much going on in Chavez Ravine on Tuesday night. Brad Penny gave up some runs, Matt Kemp struck out a few times, Hong-Chih Kuo and Jae Seo still suck, and oh, Adrian Beltre pried open the Dodgers' anus and F'd them with all his might. While Tuesday was a miserable day to be a Dodger fan, we do have one thing to be very thankful for: Beltre is in the American League. Can you imagine Beltre playing for the Giants, batting a hundred times a year against the Dodgers? He'd end up passing Hank Aaron before Barry Bonds does.

Tuesday, of course, marked Beltre's return home—or the place formerly known as home. The stands might be different colors and the outfield walls might be plastered with a couple more ads, but Beltre recognized it all right, doing everything but deficate on Frank McCourt's box seat. Beltre homered in his first at-bat, doubled in his second, hit a ball to the right field wall in his third, and walked in his fourth and fifth at-bats. In between, he saved a run with a back-handed snag at third base, killing a Dodger rally before it started. Instead of going to the game on Tuesday, you really could have just stayed home, smashed yourself in the nuts with a mallet, and saved $40 bucks.

Meanwhile, has Jeff Kent completely given up? Is he so old that he can get away with just not giving a shit anymore? Or is he so goddamn full of himself that he can just play by his own rules? The other day he made no effort to get back to first base after Andre Ethier's fly ball was caught, and in the 9th inning on Tuesday, he stood in foul ground stroking his moustache while Raul Ibanez raced home with the Mariners' ninth run. After catching Kenji Johjima's pop fly down the right field line, Kent held the ball and stared at Ibanez. "I'm Jeff Kent, and I've played in the Major Leagues for 14 years, so you can't run home." Well, Ibanez did, and made it. Then Kent stands there with a perplexed look on his face. Can't figure out what happened, Jeff? What happened is that someone made you look like an arrogant moron. Oh, and for the record, you have fewer home runs than David Ross.

June 18, 2006 - Athletics 5, Dodgers 2
Seventy degrees, but hell freezes over

Sweeping a series isn't an easy thing to do. It requires the winning team to be very good and the losing team to have a guy like Jae Seo. Or Aaron Sele. Or Brett Tomko. Or, in the Dodgers' case, all three. Sad times for the Dodgers, indeed. The stories that excited fans early in the year (Tomko's sparkling ERA, Sele's return from oblivion, J.D. Drew's health) have begun to lose steam, the rookies have slowed in production, and the veteran bats have been showing their age.

In Saturday's loss, Kenny Lofton came up with a clutch RBI single in the top of the ninth that took the game into extra innings. Eight extra innings to be exact. But then the offense died. In 2004, these were the types of games the Dodgers usually won—maybe from a walk-off homer, a big sac fly, or an RBI base hit in the 12th. If David Ross could come through back then, there's no reason why Jeff Kent, Olmedo Saenz, or Andre Ethier couldn't come through in Saturday's game. Maybe if the game had gone to the eighteenth inning, the Dodgers would have had a chance. It never made it that far, though, as Giovanni Carrara—er, Jae Seo—walked in the winning run in the seventeenth.

Sunday's loss to the Athletics wasn't quite as dramatic. Some might just call it a total friggin' bore. The A's scored five runs off of Sele, who walked three and struck out none in four innings. Rafael Furcal and Willy Aybar combined to go 0-for-8 at the top of the lineup, and the Dodgers never really had a shot. There was one interesting development, though—something none of us ever expected to see in our lifetime: Odalis Perez pitched four scoreless innings. Chirst, next thing you know Jonathan Broxton will eat a salad.

June 16, 2006 - Athletics 7, Dodgers 3
Time for Kershaw?

In environmental terms, an indicator species is a species whose presence, absence, or general health provides information on the overall condition of the ecosystem. Jae Seo is the Dodgers' equivalent of an indicator species. When he's sits on the bench, all is good. But when he's brought in to pitch, you know some bad shit has already gone down. If you ever miss a game and want to know how the Dodgers did, just look in the box score and see if Seo pitched. Although, if you're looking in the box score, you could probably just look at the score, but that's not the point. The point is that if Seo appears in a game, the Dodgers lose. Prior to Friday, the Dodgers had lost the previous six games that Seo had appeared in. After Friday's game, you can make it seven.

Despite five of the first six Dodgers striking out, they took a 2-0 lead against Barry Zito. It wasn't meant to be, though... mainly because Brett Tomko was pitching. After beginning the season with freakish success and consistency, Tomko has settled into the funk that's characterized most of his career. Since May 16th, Tomko has the highest ERA of any starting pitcher in the major leagues. On Friday night, he showed why: Five innings, nine hits, five runs, no strikeouts. Most teams would have banished Tomko to the bullpen by now, but the Dodger bullpen is overflowing with starters who've fallen on hard times, and there are only so many mop-up men a team can have. Tomko will likely get another start or two, but how long before the Dodgers call in Clayton Kershaw? Sure, they just drafted him a week ago, but now that he's done signing yearbooks and cleaning out his locker, what else does he have to do?

June 15, 2006 - Dodgers 7, Padres 3
Billingsley don't need no team

With the sun shining on Thursday afternoon, the stage was set for the debut of Chad Billingsley, the bright beacon of hope for the starting rotation. Spirits would have been higher had the Dodgers not just lost two games to the Padres by a combined score of 14 to 4, but Chad took the field hoping to become the best Dodger Chad ever—even better than Chad Curtis. Turns out, all it took was one official at-bat. Billingsley came to the plate with the bases loaded and two out in the top of the fourth. As the Dodgers grabbed their gloves to go back in the field, all but certain that the inning was over, Billingsley did what every Dodger rookie seems to do of late—come through. A bloop single into center field scored two, and the Dodgers took the lead. Those two runs held up until Willy Aybar fielded a ground ball and threw it home (that seems normal) with no outs (oh) when he had a chance to get a double-play instead (that's stupid). Aybar is definitely caught in the middle, and we don't mean between hops (though that's generally true). With Jeff Kent back, Cesar Izturis right behind him, and Andy LaRoche tearing it up in the minors, Aybar might not be long for the Dodgers. His bat is still hot and although his fielding is a bit suspect, we wouldn't be surprised to see him packaged in a trade before the deadline.

After Aybar's questionable play, a Padre rally ensued, and Billingsley needed 27 pitches to get out of the inning. Overall, though, Billingsley pitched far better than Odalis Perez or Jae Seo have in recent memory, and will likely keep his spot in the rotation until he loses a leg in a bike accident.

The Dodgers perked up a couple innings later when Aybar was taken out and replaced with Ramon Martinez, who immediately singled. "Shit, if Ramon Martinez can get a base hit, I probably can, too," said each Dodger, and so a rally started in the seventh inning.
Jose Cruz Jr. certainly wasn't part of the rally, as he got the start and went 0-for-4, now making it about eighty at-bats since we've seen him reach base. Nontheless, the Dodgers got the win and now lead the West by a game again. And, of course, we expect that lead to last a long time.

June 14, 2006 - Padres 5, Dodgers 3
How 'bout some help for the kids

Ever since Orel Hershiser set his consecutive scoreless innings record in San Diego, it seems that the Padres have done nothing but score against the Dodgers. They won their fifth in a row against L.A. on Wednesday, breaking a 3-3 tie in the bottom of the eighth to knock off the Dodgers, 5-3. The only runs the Dodgers scored came on home runs by Willy Aybar and Matt Kemp. Aybar's came in the second inning with a man on, but was matched minutes later by Mark Bellhorn, who took Brad Penny out to left. Kemp's homer—a pinch-hit bomb to center—was his seventh since breaking into the big leagues less than three weeks ago, and tied the game in the top of the eighth. Lest Kemp actually enjoy the moment, however, Hong Chih-Kuo and Danys Baez immediately gave the Padres the lead. Aside from the power supplied by the Dodger youth, the team managed only four hits against superstar Mike Thompson and two Padre relievers. Very stimulating baseball.

The loss leaves the Dodgers even with Arizona, just a game in front of San Diego, and only two games away from last place. It's a little odd that it's the middle of June and the Dodgers could conceivably go from first to last place in a single weekend... although it's not quite as odd as the way Grady Little walks to the mound.

June 13, 2006 - Padres 9, Dodgers 1
Dodgers bitchslapped by a Ho

Apparently the Dodgers were lonely. After spending almost two full days alone in first place, the Dodgers decided on Tuesday that they're more comfortable sharing the lead with Arizona. While their game against the Padres lasted almost three hours, it only took about 10 minutes for the Dodgers to fold. Rafael Furcal continued his Jose Offermanesque season, committing two errors in the first inning that set the stage for Kenny Lofton to botch an inning-ending fly ball. Going back on Vinny Castilla's drive to center, Lofton looked more like a 60-year-old blind man than a 39-year-old centerfielder. Back to the wall he went... jumped... and came up empty. Hmmm, maybe he came up empty because the ball landed on the warning track. Three runs scored on that play, and by the second inning, the Dodgers were down 5-0.

Chan Ho Park, meanwhile, didn't allow a baserunner until the 4th inning, ultimately giving up just three hits to the Dodgers. Park walked three, struck out five, and resisted giving Aaron Sele a karate kick when he singled in the third inning. As for Sele, he had four unearned runs charged against him but can't blame anyone but himself for his five walks. Dodger relievers didn't fare any better. Jae Seo gave up three hits and three runs in his only inning of work, making even Odalis Perez look like an All-Star. Well, that is, until Perez came into the game the next inning and immediately gave up a home run to Eric Young (a guy with a total of three home runs over the last three seasons).

It wasn't all bad news on Tuesday, though, as Jeff Kent came off the disabled list. It was just mostly bad news, as Eric Gagne went right back on it.

June 11, 2006 - Dodgers 6, Rockies 5
Dodgers finally make it to the top

The last time the Dodgers were in first place, Matt Kemp was practically in elementary school. Actually, it's been thirteen months since the Dodgers were in first, and on Sunday they made it to the top once again. Kemp gave the Dodgers an early boost, hitting two home runs, and clutch pinch hitting in the ninth helped the Dodgers come from behind to beat Colorado, 6-5. Kemp, Russell Martin and Willy Aybar combined to drive in four runs and Takashi Saito—who could at least have the courtesy to grow a goatee and wear goggles—picked up the save.

Considering what the Dodgers have been through this season, it's actually remarkable that they've hung around the top of the pack all year. At one point or another, the Dodgers have been without Nomar Garciaparra, Kenny Lofton, Jeff Kent, Jason Repko, Yhency Brazoban, Eric Gagne, Bill Mueller, Ricky Ledee, and Dioner Navarro—and, of course, haven't heard so much as a fart from Jayson Werth and Cesar Izturis. (Thankfully Olmedo Saenz has been picking up the slack in the department.) Then there are the pitchers who've been nothing but a burden: Odalis Perez, Danys Baez, Tim Hamulack, Lance Carter, Jae Seo and Franquelis Osoria. And to top it off, you've got a manager who generally appears to be in a daze, a third base coach who's never put up a stop sign, and a general manager who still sleeps in orange pajamas.

For the Dodgers to overcome all of that is amazing, but it's not a matter of luck. It's a matter of some sharp scouting, some smart draft picks, some impressive minor league development, and the reluctance of three general managers to part with the team's future. As much as Dan Evans and Paul DePodesta had feces oozing from the new a-holes that we continually tore them, they're as responsible for the current crop of Dodger prospects as anyone else. You really can't expect Russell Martin, Willy Aybar, Andre Ethier, and Matt Kemp to continue doing what they've been doing, but wouldn't it be cool? For the first time in years, it feels like the Dodgers have a bright future. That's not to say they haven't had good stretches over the last decade (part of the '04 season being one), but this is a new feeling. Sort of like rubbing baking soda and vinegar on your balls. Ok, not really. But our point is this: Vin Scully could very well see the Dodgers win a playoff series before he expires.

June 7, 2006 - Mets 9, Dodgers 7
$24 million down the drain

It took less than an inning on Wednesday to make official what Dodger fans have known for a long time: Odalis Perez sucks donkey balls. Making his first start since rejoining the starting rotation, Perez gave up four runs in the first inning, one more in the second, and two in the fourth. We could give Perez the benefit of the doubt and say that he just has to get used to being a starter again, but we won't say that. We could say that he's just going through a rough stretch, but we won't say that either. What we will say is this: Odalis Perez is hopeless. It's not exactly clear what's happened to him the last few years, but it is clear that he's getting worse, not better. Maybe it's off-the-field issues, maybe it's his pitching mechanics... hell, maybe it's his auto mechanic. Whatever the reason, something's gotta give. He doesn't belong in the rotation, he doesn't belong in the bullpen, nobody else wants him, and he's too expensive to just release. That leaves only one option: sue Paul DePodesta.

Despite Perez's dreadful night, the Dodgers made it an interesting game. Rafael Furcal hit home runs off Tom Glavine in each of the first two innings, and the Dodgers inched to within a run in the fourth. With Perez finally gone, it looked like the Dodgers might have a shot. Well, at least it looked that way until Jae Seo came trotting in from the pen. Seo, the only Dodger capable of giving Perez a run for his money, gave up a two-run bomb to Lastings Milledge (don't even get us started on his parents) in the 7th, and the Mets once again had a 3-run lead. The Dodgers cut that lead to two in the eighth on an Andre Ethier pinch-hit double, but would have had more had Nomar Garciaparra been content with his leadoff single. Instead, Speedy headed to second and was nailed by Lastings Milledge (don't even get us started on his parents). It was a tough loss for L.A., but the 44,000 Mets fans at Dodger Stadium sure had a great time.

June 6, 2006 - Dodgers 8, Mets 5
Dodgers draft Mattingly curse

Frank McCourt, Ned Coletti and scouting director Logan White sat in McCourt's office to discuss whether or not they should continue winning this season. The Dodgers really don't need any more pennants, they decided… the banners would make the stadium look too gaudy, you know, because the movie commercials between innings and the DHL ads on the bullpen gates are so tastefully done. "This team needs a good curse to keep the pennants away," said Colletti, who knows a lot about the subject, having spent most of his career with the Giants. "All of these Boston players that we brought in didn't bring enough of the curse with them," he explained to McCourt. White nodded, tipped his straw hat and got to work.

His work yielded a plan. What better way to keep the pennants away than bring a Mattingly into the organization? So, on Tuesday, the Dodgers drafted Preston Mattingly, son of Don Mattingly, with their sandwich pick (31st overall), sealing the team's fate for years to come… or at least until Preston's back injuries force him to retire at age 32.

There's only one player who spent his entire career with the Yankees, had his number retired by the team, and yet didn't win a World Series ring. That player is Don Mattingly. Let's think about how ludicrous this is for a moment. The Yankees. They could probably sue every other team that's won the World Series, claiming that they own it, but they couldn't win with a guy who had 145 RBIs and 238 hits in a season? There's even a curse named after him that suggests that as long as Mattingly is in uniform, the Yankees will never win the pennant. And while that's perfectly fine with us, we'd certainly prefer that the Mattingly curse remain in New York.

The curse aside, drafting Preston Mattingly has added yet another shortstop to the Dodger organization. There are four shortstops on the major league roster right now, one on the disabled list, and two in Las Vegas. That adds up to, well, like a hundred and twelve shortstops.

The Dodgers also recognized the need to add some talented minor-league pitchers who'll never make it to the majors, using the 7th overall pick on Clayton Kershaw, a right-handed pitcher from Dallas, and the 26th pick on Bryan Morris, a right-handed pitcher from Tennessee. Can't wait to never hear from those guys again.

Meanwhile, the Dodgers knocked off the Mets on Wednesday, 8-5. Eric Gagne notched his first save in almost a year, Derek Lowe pitched six solid innings, and Nomar Garciaparra and Matt Kemp each socked two-run homers. More importantly, it was a rare night that saw ex-Dodgers actually help their former team. Pedro Martinez gave up two bombs, Jose Valentin made two costly errors, and Paul LoDuca failed to throw out three Dodger basestealers. Unfortunately fans hoping to witness Duaner Sanchez's emotional return to Dodger Stadium will have to wait another day.

June 5, 2006 - Mets 4, Dodgers 1
Rafael Bournigal strikes back

There are very few things more frustrating than watching an ex-Dodger come back to burn his former team—especially when he was crappy as all hell when he wore blue. Craig Counsell, Jeromy Burnitz, Tom Goodwin... the list goes on and on. Well, it happened again on Monday night, only this time the Dodgers were burned by a guy who doesn't even play anymore. Rafael Bournigal, a 120-pounder who scored three runs in as many seasons with the Dodgers, finally exacted revenge on the club that gave up on him. Bouringal, it seems, is now a scout with the Mets. Alay Soler, who faced the Dodgers on Monday, was signed by Bournigal. And Alay Soler, who had looked very much like a rookie in his only two starts this year, stifled the Dodgers for seven innings to earn his first major league victory. Soler even picked up his first major league hit... although can you really call it a major leauge hit when it comes off of Brett Tomko? Continuing his downward spiral, Tomko gave up two home runs in the first inning on Monday and the Dodgers went down easily to the Mets, 4-1. No worries, though, it's not as if the Dodgers are facing two Hall-of-Fame bound pitchers the next two nights. Oh, wait, yes they are.

June 4, 2006 - Phillies 6, Dodgers 4
Mourning Hamulack, Dodgers lose to Phillies

As if record heat didn't make playing ball on Sunday enough of a struggle, the Dodgers had to grapple with something even tougher: their emotions. Before the game, the heart and soul of the Dodgers—Tim Hamulack—was sent down to the minor leagues. In 24 games, Hamulack was 0-2 and had posted a 6.57 ERA. "It's going to be very difficult to play," Kenny Lofton told us, wiping away tears. "I mean, without a lefty coming out of the pen to walk the first three guys he faces, I might actually have to pay attention." Thankfully for Lofton, Hong-Chih Kuo should amply fill Hamulack's shoes. (And due to a new cost-cutting policy instituted by Frank McCourt, Kuo will literally wear Hamulack's shoes.)

Kuo got those shoes wet quickly, entering in the 8th inning on Sunday after Joe Beimel allowed a tie game to get away. The Dodgers had caught up to the Phillies an inning earlier, though they blew a chance to take the lead when Matt Kemp—very large but obviously still very young—swung at a terrible pitch and grounded out with the bases loaded. The Dodgers grounded into four double-plays on the day, making it difficult to give Aaron Sele much support. His career declared legally dead just a couple of months ago, Sele had another solid outing and kept his ERA below two and a half.

For all the excitement that Russell Martin, Andre Ethier, Willy Aybar, Matt Kemp, and Joel Guzman have generated of late, the Dodgers really aren't playing that well. For the last week, they've alternated wins and losses, and since their 7-game winning streak ended on May 24th, they're just 5-4. Over the same stretch, the Diamondbacks are 7-3, dropping the Dodgers two and a half games back. Just wait until Odalis Perez returns to the rotation on Wednesday.

June 2, 2006 - Phillies 8, Dodgers 6
Danys Baez is a shitbag

Friday night could have been a good one for the Dodgers. Eric Gagne was set to make his return, Joel Guzman was set to make his first major league start, and the Dodgers were looking to move into first place in the West. But then the game started. Jae Seo gave up a long ball in the first, another run in the third, and another in the fourth. The Dodgers actually managed to take the lead an inning later, and held on to it until the seventh. That's when Danys Baez—demoted from closer to set-up man to middle reliever—gave up five runs without getting an out. It was an ugly scene, especially considering Grady Little's reluctance to pull Baez. We'd like to make this suggestion to Little: The second Baez does so much as throw a pitch out of the strike zone, you yank the bastard. Watching Baez for a couple months, it's obvious that he isn't one of those guys who gives up a run here or there—he gives them up in bunches. Five runs without getting an out? Holy christ, man.

Meanwhile, top prospect Joel Guzman hit cleanup in his first major league start. He didn't clean up much, though, ending the game by hitting into a double-play with the tying runs on base. Matt Kemp, however, hit another home run and is 6-for-16 since being recalled from double-A. As for Gagne, who evidently hasn't seen a razor or a barber since his last major league appearance, he was a sight for sore eyes. While his control wasn't quite there and his hat was way too clean for comfort, he did crank it up to 94 mph as he struck out Ryan Howard. Expect a visit to Frank Jobe by next week.