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> JUNE 2007 June 30, 2007 - Padres 3, Dodgers 1 Nomar ends drought, but Dodgers still parched The game went extra innings because the pitching match-up actually lived up to its billing. Brad Penny and Jake Peavy matched each other pitch for pitch, each giving up a run over seven innings. The Dodgers' run—believe it or not—came on Nomar's second home run of the year. The ball barely cleared the wall in right-center, but having looked like Tripp Cromer for 231 at-bats, Nomar probably wasn't too concerned with the distance. The home run tied the game at one, but the Dodgers then blew chances to take the lead in the 7th, 8th, and 11th innings. Eventually the Dodgers would have to dip into the part of their bullpen generally reserved for blow-outs, and the results were as expected. Brett Tomko surrendered two runs in the top of the 12th, and Trevor Hoffman shut the door on the Dodgers in the bottom of the inning. Making it even more special, Jose Cruz Jr. had the game-winning hit for San Diego, a flare double to left. If watching Cruz burn the Dodgers isn't frustrating enough, just wait until Milton Bradley comes through with the game-winning hit for San Diego on Sunday. Should be tons of fun. June
28, 2007
- Dodgers 9, Diamondbacks 5 Wolf was far from dominating, but what else is new? He walked six and gave up three runs over six innings. It was good enough for a win, though, as the other Randy showed some rust from his recent stint on the disabled list. Russell Martin homered in the first inning (one of his three hits), and the Dodgers knocked out the Big Ugly Randy after just three innings. Continuing their inconsistency, the top four guys in the Dodger lineup combined for ten hits and eight runs. James Loney, on the other hand, had his worst offensive game since being called up. The first baseman went 1-for-4, dropping his batting average to a disappointing .476. The victory puts the Dodgers back in first place, which at this point means about as much as the hardened piece of mucous I just discovered in my nose. Can we just call the West even and jump to September 28th? June
27, 2007
- Diamondbacks 2, Dodgers 0 Three days after leaving fifteen guys on base in Tampa Bay, the Dodgers stranded thirteen. The top four in the Dodger lineup had a total of one hit, Nomar Garciaparra went 0-for-4 (striking out twice with two on and nobody out) and Russell Martin fanned three times. As for Nomar, how much longer before he loses his job to Wilson Betemit? Or to Brett Tomko? As for Martin, could he be suffering from the Cesar Izturis curse? Two seasons ago, the Dodgers made a huge push to get Cesar elected to the All-Star team. About a week before the voting ended, Izturis tanked... and was never the same again. Speaking of All-Stars, James Loney is making a late push. Loney had another three-hit night Wednesday and is now hitting .500 (19-for-38). With the 37 write-in votes that have been cast for Loney, he's only about 1.5 million behind Prince Fielder. Maybe Nomar can actually make himself useful and find a computer on Thursday. June
26, 2007
- Dodgers 6, Diamondbacks 5 As for Nomar, the struggles continue... only now it's not just power that he's lost—it's the ability to make contact. He went 0-for-5 on Tuesday, striking out twice and stranding eight runners—including the bases loaded with two outs in the ninth. Meanwhile, James Loney went 3-for-5, raising his average to a modest .471. Glad that he was left to rot in Vegas for two and a half months. Ned Colletti and Grady Little should be embarrassed that it took them almost half a season to figure out what everyone else in LA knew back in March. Maybe by the end of next season they'll figure out that Mark Hendrickson sucks. June
24, 2007
- Devil Rays 9, Dodgers 4 Saturday, of course, it was Navarro's solo homer that proved to be the difference, and on Sunday, it was Edwin Jackson's pitching. Traded to the Devil Rays before the 2006 season, he had yet to win a game for his new team. To be exact, Jackson had gone thirty-seven games (including 15 starts) since his last win—a victory over the Pirates on September 26, 2005. This season, Jackson was 0-8 with an ERA of almost eight. Opposing batters were hitting .351 against him. In other words, he sucks. After the Dodgers managed only two runs against him Sunday, though, it's clear that they suck even more. A day after leaving fifteen guys on base, the Dodgers only left four—primarily because they grounded into three double plays and had two runners nailed trying to steal second. The defense wasn't much better, as they made two physical errors and about three or four mental ones. Hong-Chih Kuo kept the Dodgers in the game for five innings, but it all fell apart in the sixth when he and Rudy Seanez yielded a pair of runs. Then came the Joe Beimel inning. Beimel, who pitched for the Devil Rays in 2005, allowed all five batters he faced to reach base and score, and by the time he was mercifully pulled, Tampa Bay had taken a 9-2 lead... and I had taken a lighter to my nuts. June
23, 2007
- Devil Rays 4, Dodgers 3 Of course the Dodgers can't put all the blame for Saturday's loss on Navarro's home run. After all, they did leave fifteen guys on base. That might have had something to do with the loss. Just maybe. They stranded at least one guy each inning, left the bases loaded twice, and four times ended an inning with a runner on third—including in the ninth when Luis Gonzalez struck out to end the game. Eleven hits... nine walks... and four runs? Meanwhile, I think Juan Pierre's arm is actually getting worse. On a fly ball to short center with a guy tagging from third in the fifth inning, Pierre fired the ball home—and it was cut off by Randy Wolf at the pitcher's mound. Pierre couldn't have been more than 20 feet past the edge of the infield, and he couldn't get enough on the throw to make it home. Neither Charley Steiner of Steve Lyons made mention of the sad attempt, which either means they're starting to feel bad for the guy, or they're just tired of talking about his noodle. I, for one, am not tired of talking about it—nor am I tired of talking about the fact that he was Juan for four. June
21, 2007
- Dodgers 8, Blue Jays 4 While seeing the Dodgers score a bunch of runs late in a game was certainly exciting, anticipation built in the eighth inning for another reason: Would Juan-for-Five Pierre make all three outs in the inning? Pierre grounded out to start the inning, and the Dodgers followed with seven hits and a walk. Up stepped Pierre again, with the chance to make the second out. He didn't disappoint, lining out to third. Sadly, he didn't get an opportunity to complete the trifecta, as Nomar Garciapparra (who, incredibly, didn't go yard on Thursday) ended the inning. A few other quick observations from Thursday's game: (1) Matt Stairs is Craig Counsell of the American League. I want to punch him. (2) Until he shows otherwise, Matt Kemp deserves to be starting every day. (3) Mark Hendrickson looks even larger north of the border. And (4) Now we don't have to listen to the Canadian nationa anthem for at least another two years. By the way, the Dodgers are now one game over .500 in June. Doesn't get more exciting than that. June
20, 2007
- Blue Jays 12, Dodgers 1 Toronto piled up the runs against Tomko, as well, cruising to an eventual 12-1 victory. The rout quickly killed any life that had sprouted from the Dodgers' 10-1 win a day earlier. If you listened to people talking after that game, you'd have thought all the team's problems were solved. Wednesday's embarrassment, however, is a nice reminder of the Dodgers' shortcomings—namely their starting pitching and inconsistent offense. That offense produced just six hits, three of which came off of Andre Ethier's bat. And surprisingly, Nomar Garciaparra didn't hit a home run. Meanwhile, Dr. Neal ElAttrache (who really needs a space between El and Attrache) performed exploratory arthroscopic surgery on Jason Schmidt, the Dodgers' $47 million offseason prize. To no one's surprise, Schmidt's shoulder was a mess, and the former Giant is now out for the season. The surgery found a scarred and inflamed bursa, a frayed biceps tendon, and a wristwatch that Dusty Baker lost years ago. With Schmidt out for the year and no assurance that he'll ever regain his form, there's a good chance that he'll end up having a salary/wins ratio even worse than that of Darren Dreifort. Decrepit Darren finished his 5-year, $55 million contract with a total of nine wins—$6.1 million per win. Schmidt, who'll be 36 when his contract expires in 2009, will need seven wins to best Dreifort's ratio. The big difference between the Dreifort and Schmidt situations, however, might be in the impact of their respective injuries. Dreifort's injury in 2004 led, in part, to the decline of Eric Gagne, who was relied upon for far too many innings. Schmidt's injury, on the other hand, is giving Chad Billingsley a chance in the starting rotation. Nevertheless, on this day when Schmidt was lost for the season, Tomko was bombed, Jeff Kent was unproductive, and Ramon Martinez suffered a setback in his rehab, let me end with this: Former Giants should never wear Blue. June
17, 2007
- Angels 10, Dodgers 4 Randy Wolf pitched a shaky five innings, walking three and giving up four runs. The Dodger bullpen was even worse, with Mark Hendrickson, Rudy Seanez, and Brett Tomko giving up a combined six runs in three innings. Only Chad Billingsley escaped unscathed, and by the time he entered the game, the Dodgers had packed it in and most dads were wishing they were hockey fans instead. The Dodger offense continued to sputter on Sunday, scoring just four runs despite getting eleven hits and two walks. Juan for Five Pierre went, well, 1-for-5, and the Dodgers 4-5-6 batters (Jeff Kent, Luis Gonzalez, and Wilson Betemit) went 0-for-11, stranding eight guys on base. Only Rafael Furcal and Nomar Garciaparra had any success—Furcal hitting a leadoff homer and Garciaparra knocking in three runs. Bidding to double his home run total for the season, Garciaparra actually hit one off the wall in the first inning. Oh, so close Nomar. Speaking of walls, can we just stop this whole James Loney in the outfield thing right now? Before he dies out there? Loney played a few games in the outfield last season and made Billy Ashley look like a Gold Glove winner. He experimented in the outfield again this spring, and looked a little like he had the glove on the wrong hand. Sunday, he entered the game as a right-field defensive replacement in the eighth inning. Moments later, he was spead eagle on the warning track as Gary Matthews rounded the bases for an inside-the-park home run. Yes, the Plexiglas scoreboard is the worst thing since boxed wine, but let's face it: Loney isn't an outfielder. Thankfully it sounds like his injury isn't serious, so hopefully the Dodgers will learn their lesson cheaply. The Dodger defeat completes their anal puckering for the Angels this year, as they've lost five of the six interleague matchups. Of greater concern for the Dodgers, however, is... well... everything else. The season isn't young anymore, and neither are Kent and Garciaparra. Both veterans are playing like shit, you've got a third base spot that no one seems to want, and you've got big questions in the back of the starting rotation. Jason Schmidt—who was intended to be in the front of the rotation—now may be out of it again altogether... which begs the question: Is he even really a Dodger? Would anyone notice if we just slipped a Giants cap on him and put him on a flight back to San Francisco? Clear his locker, tear up his contract, and just play dumb. Schmidt? Schmidt, who? June
16, 2007
- Angels 3, Dodgers 0 It must have seemed like Yom Kippur for Jason Schmidt on Saturday, though, as the Dodger bats fasted. Jered Weaver limited the Dodgers to four hits in six innings, and they managed only one more through the final three frames. It wasn't as if they were without opportunities, though, as they left nine guys on base—including three in the second inning when Jason Schmidt grounded out with the bases juiced. Schmidt's performance on the mound wasn't much better. He walked four, threw two wild pitches, and his so-called fastball topped out at 88 mph. I've been starting to have visions of Kevin Brown, but at least Brown put together a few productive seasons in L.A. before his body gave out. Schmidt has one victory, and it's anyone's guess when he'll ever have another. Sort of like Nomar and home runs. June
14, 2007 "Our offense hasn't lived up to our expectations, and no one person is responsible for the results we've had this season,” said Grady Little, in announcing that they’re holding one person responsible. Seriously, how can you fire someone and then turn around and say they’re not to blame? That’s chicken shit. More than anything, what probably contributed to Murray’s departure was his personality. He’s always had a reputation for being a little surly, and as a coach was apparently difficult to approach. Obviously that’s not a quality you look for in a coach, but the Dodgers shouldn’t have been surprised by it. They also shouldn’t have been surprised by the fact that their team batting average is .261. Eddie Murray isn’t the one who assembled the roster, and he’s not the one who’s hitting comebackers with runners in scoring position. You want to blame someone? How about Juan Pierre, who doesn’t get on base? How about Nomar Garciaparra, who has become a singles hitter? How about Grady Little, who puts Jeff Kent up to pinch hit with the bases loaded despite having terrible career numbers both as a pinch-hitter and with the bases loaded? Well, at least they’ll be getting some use out of Bill Mueller now. A $4.5 million dollar hitting coach.
June
12, 2007
- Dodgers 4, Mets 1 It was the timing of Kuo's home run, though, that opened eyes in the second inning. Kuo's shot came immediately after a blast by Matt Kemp... which had immediately followed a blast by Wilson Betemit. You talk about defying the odds, I give you back-to-back-to-back home runs from a team that's dead last in the majors in home runs. And not just that, but on consecutive pitches. And not just that, but from the 7-8-9 spots in the lineup. And not just that, but one at 408 feet, one at 447 feet, and one at 412 feet. And not just that, but one home run from a guy who's struggled mightily all season (Betemit), one from a guy who hasn't homered in his last 130 major league at-bats (Kemp), and one from a guy who had a grand total of one major league hit (Kuo). Mathematically, there was a better chance of Grady Little turning into an octopus... or even Charley Steiner giving the score.
June
11, 2007
- Dodgers 5, Mets 3 For the first few innings Monday, it looked as if the former Dodgers would once again topple the current ones. Shawn Green, just off the disabled list (probably with a strained vulva), knocked in one of two Mets runs in the first inning—an inning that Russell Martin would like to forget. The Mets stole two bases and Martin had a throwing error and passed ball. He also sharted in his pants and realized that he left the iron on. The game turned in the fourth inning, though, when the Dodgers finally broke through for their first hit off of Orlando Hernandez. After Martin's single scored Juan Pierre (who had—get this—actually walked), Luis Gonzalez doubled in Martin, and Ethier singled in Gonzalez. The double tied Gonzalez on the all-time doubles list with Eddie Murray, who he then passed with another double two innings later. After that double, Gonzalez brought in the go-ahead run on a booming double by James Loney. That double puts Loney only 554 behind Gonzalez. Since he figures to spend another few seasons bouncing between L.A. and Vegas, Loney should reach Gonzo's mark in about 2046. Meanwhile, Randy Wolf is suddenly tied for most wins in the National League. I'm sure Derek Lowe is really happy for him. June
9, 2007
- Blue Jays 1, Dodgers 0 In his nine innings of work, Lowe struck out three, didn't walk a batter, and gave up just four hits. One of the hits, however, was Matt Stairs' sixth inning solo home run—his second in as many nights. And that was enough. It's the third time Lowe has gone the distance this season, and he's lost all three of those games. The Dodgers should be ashamed of themselves. Really, it's pathetic. Saturday's defeat was their fourth in the last five games, a stretch that's seen them score a total of eleven runs. Making it even worse, it's the second time this week they've lost 1-0. If you want to let the post-game buffet go to waste, fine, but you don't let good pitching go to waste. The National League West is going to be decided by a couple games or less, and it's games like these that will make or break them. Right now, they're broken. When you twice leave the bases loaded—and leave a total of nine—you're broken. When one of your power hitters has gone 184 at-bats without a home run, you're broken. And when you have a different lineup every night, you're broken. Friday's lineup included Yawn Pierre in the 8th hole for the first time this season. Pierre raised his .297 OBP with a couple of hits, but was pulled for a pinch-hitter in the bottom of the ninth. Okay, just so I have this straight, the Dodgers' $9 million leadoff man was pinch-hit for in the eighth spot by a guy making $387,000? Like I said, broken. June
8, 2007
- Dodgers 4, Blue Jays 3 Takashi Saito's return didn't quite go as planned, unless the plan was for him to blow a save—his first in his last 27 chances. With a 2-1 lead entering the ninth, Saito got bombed by the first Toronto hitter, Matt Stairs. Looking like he's been out five months rather than five days, Saito also walked a batter later in the inning before finally escaping. Joe Beimel wasn't much better in the tenth inning, giving up two hits in the tenth to give the Blue Jays the lead. When all seemed hopeless, though, Tony Abreu drew a walk to lead off the bottom of the tenth. Just a typical Dodger tease? Not this time. With fans waving their souvenir beach towels because the scoreboard told them to, Olmedo Saenz stepped to the plate. Within seconds, he had drilled a Jeremy Accardo pitch over the wall in left, giving the Dodgers a dramatic 4-3 victory, bailing out the bullpen, and ending the team's four-game losing streak. Olmedo might look like a tub of goo, but the boy can hit. Speaking of hitting, the Dodgers once again had very little of it on Friday. Until Luis Gonzalez's home run in the seventh to give them a short-lived lead, the Dodgers had two hits. After stranding guys on third the first two innings, there was nothing for the next five. Toronto starter Dustin McGowan, clearly a future Hall-of-Famer, retired sixteen consecutive batters at one point (if you count Yawn Pierre as a batter). The Dodgers may have pulled this one off, but something's gotta give. June
7, 2007
- Padres 6, Dodgers 5 Toward the middle of Thursday's game I was actually starting to feel good. Maybe it was the lineup without Juan Pierre, maybe it was the 1-2 punch of Rafael Furcal and Tony Abreu, or maybe it was heroin I had just snorted. Whatever the reason, my Dodger depression was lifting. Little did I know, however, that a few minutes later all hell would break loose... and that heroin isn't good for you. With the Dodgers up four runs in the bottom of the ninth, Jonathan Broxton took the mound. Slow bouncer to second, and Jeff Kent can't make the play. Lousy start to the inning, but no reason to freak out. Then comes the grounder to first, and Nomar Garciaparra flings the ball behind him. Uh, not good, but all the Dodgers need are three outs. Then comes the Marcus Giles base hit to left center—on an 0-2 pitch right down the friggin' middle. Down the friggin' middle? Then comes the big joke—the high bouncer off the plate that hangs in the air about 30 seconds. That's it. The Dodgers are going to lose. And it's exactly what they did. The high bouncer was followed by a booming double to the gap, an intentional walk, a game-tying base hit, and then the always popular game-ending bases-loaded walk (you know, the one that Giovanni Carrara had perfected). There was a strikeout sandwiched somewhere in there, too, but who really gives a shit. What you should give a shit about was Grady Little's reluctance to use Takashi Saito. Before the game Saito pronounced himself fit and said he could pitch in case of emergency. Well, if you don't count bases-loaded, nobody out in the bottom of the ninth inning against your division rival an emergency, than I don't know what is. It's not as if Saito's been out for a month and needed to be treated like a Frank Jobe patient. He's been out four days, and he's fine. The Dodgers, however, are far from fine. They've lost three in a row and five of the last eight. After spending two months in first place, they're suddenly two and half games back. And Juan Pierre won't get hurt. Christ, they're in trouble. June
6, 2007
- Padres 5, Dodgers 1
If
there was anything positive to come out of Wednesday's game, it
was Jeff Kent's performance. Actually, it's less his performance
and more the total power that I have over the Dodgers. I name Kent
Asshole of the Moment on Tuesday, challenging him to get
a hit, and what does he do? Gets three off the best pitcher of our
era. I'd use my powers to help Gonzalez and Garciaparra, too, but
then I'd have nothing to write about. June
5, 2007
- Padres 1, Dodgers 0 Aside from the outcome, it was actually a great game. Before Seanez coughed up the eighth inning run, the game was scoreless—and the Padres had managed just a lonely hit off of Jason Schmidt. In his return from the disabled list, Schmidt was strong, pitching a dominating six innings and quickly working out of his only jam (a two-out, bases-loaded situation in the second inning). Maybe the Dodgers should keep him on the DL more often. Have him make a couple more starts, let him rest his body for a couple months, and then bring him back in September. June
4, 2007 - Dodgers 6, Pirates 5 For six innings on Monday, the Pirates didn't look like much of a baseball team. Going into the seventh inning, the Dodgers had a 5-0 lead and Derek Lowe hadn't allowed a hit. That all changed within moments, though, and before you could say "error" (of which the Dodgers made three) it was a 5-3 game. Russell Martin gave the Dodgers an insurance run in the top of the eighth with his seventh home run of the season, and it turned out to be a game-saver. Lowe allowed a solo shot in the bottom of the inning to Jose Bautista, setting the stage for the ninth inning fun. Filling in for the injured Saito, Jonathan Broxton hit 100 mph on one pitch, but the Pirates weren't exactly shaking in their buccaneer boots. After two hits and a walk, the Pirates had pushed across one and had the tying run at third with two outs. As Takashi Saito sat in the dugout afraid to watch (ok, fine, Olmedo Saenz was blocking his view), Jack Wilson grounded out on the first pitch he saw, and the Dodgers held on to win, 6-5. It was also a personal victory for Jeff Kent, who actually doubled in the first inning, helping to dispel rumors that he actually died a week ago. June
3, 2007
- Dodgers 5, Pirates 4 Dodger youth played the biggest role in the victory, with Russell Martin, Ethier, and Tony Abreu going a combined 6-for-12 with four runs scored. Chad Billingsley and Jonathan Broxton each pitched a scoreless inning as well. These are names that figure to be heard around the stadium for years to come—although some of them probably as opposition after they're traded for Jose Valentin in July. The comeback was a big boost for the Dodgers, who again found themselves in a three-way tie for first before the game. Excitement over Sunday's win was tempered, however, since closer Takashi Saito left midway through the ninth inning with tightness in his hamstring. Saito's been so good that he's pretty much taken for granted these days (at least by me), but an extended absence could spill trouble for the Dodgers—especially since Yhency Brazoban is on the shelf again. Brad Penny made the start on Sunday, giving up nine hits and his first two home runs of the season. Penny apparently puked just before the game, either scared to face the Pirates' intimidating lineup or just feeling the ill effects of a Saturday night out with Olmedo Saenz. Either way, Penny wasn't at his best on Sunday, which hopefully isn't a sign of his annual second half slump rearing its ugly head a month early. I end
on a sad note, as journeyman catcher Kelly Stinnett was traded on
Sunday to the St. Louis Cardinals (who apparently couldn't find
an over-the-hill forgotten catcher in their own organization). Stinnett
had actually retired a week ago from Triple-A Las Vegas, but came
out of retirement for the trade. Rumor has it that James Loney tried
to stuff himself inside Stinnett's suitcase, but was discovered
at the Vegas airport's security checkpoint. June
1, 2007
- Dodgers 5, Pirates 4 Sorry, after all this time, Tracy gets me a little worked up. Even though he's not the Dodger manager anymore, I'd still like to jab him in the neck with a stick. As for the game, Randy Wolf gave up four runs in five innings, and it could have been worse had Pirates second baseman Freddy Sanchez not ran the bases like a blind man in the first inning. With Jose Bautista on third and Sanchez on second, Jason Bay hit a ball to deep center that sent Juan Pierre racing toward the wall. Thinking Pierre would make the catch, Sanchez went back to second. This is Juan Pierre we're talking about, though, so of course the ball dropped for a double—and Sanchez could only advance to third, where he was eventually stranded. The game was a see-saw until the fifth when Russell Martin deposited a Zach Duke pitch just over the wall in center. Behind four scoreless innings from the Dodger bullpen, the home run stood up, and the Dodgers picked up their 32nd win of the season. It was Martin's third home run in as many games, giving the Dodger catcher five more than Nomar Garciaparra, who had the night off on Friday. Nomar has now gone 150 at-bats since his last home run (and only home run), a solo shot against Arizona on April 16th. Two months into the season, my grandmother has more home runs than Nomar... and a smaller nose.
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With
the way Russell Martin handles pitchers, handles the bat, and handles
himself off the field, it's easy to forget that this is his first
full season in the big leagues. In the 11th inning on Saturday,
he kindly reminded everyone of that. After stealing second base
with one out and the score tied at one, Martin got cocky and tried
to steal third. Although replays showed he may have grabbed the
bag ahead the throw, he was called out, and the inning fell apart
for the Dodgers. Nomar Garciaparra ended up grounding out to end
the threat, and an inning later, the game was over. Maybe Martin
thought he could catch the Padres by surprise, maybe he was getting
tired of squatting behind the plate and wanted to put an end to
the whole thing, or maybe he's beginning to think he's Juan Pierre.
Whatever the reason, stealing third in that situation was ridiculously
stupid.
Both
are named Randy. Both are lefties. Both started on Thursday. All
that separates Randy Wolf and Randy Johnson are 206 wins and about
twelve inches. It was the Little Randy who came out on top Thursday,
as the Dodgers knocked off the Diamondbacks, 9-5. 
There
are some things that really just can't be explained. This country's
obsession with Paris Hilton... how there are certain traffic lights
you'll always miss regardless of what direction you're coming from...
gravity... and, of course, the lack of run support for Derek Lowe.
The Dodgers have been shut out six times this year, and Lowe has
started three of those games. I'm no mathematician, but the odds
of that happening are like one in forty. Or one in three hundred.
Or one in five. Like I said, I'm no mathematician, but the odds
aren't good. Yet, there was Lowe dropping his ERA to 3.03 on Wednesday,
and there were the Dodgers coming up empty. Lowe gave up one earned
run in 6+ innings, and his record fell to 8-7.
On
a day when Nomar Garciaparra started at third base for the first
time as Dodger, it was another third baseman who emerged the hero.
Tony Abreu, relegated to a pinch-hit role now that Nomar has been
shifted over to third, came through in the top of the 10th inning
with a pinch-hit homer to left, the first of his career. Takashi
Saito, looking a bit like Chan Ho Park these days with his little
goatee, pitched a scoreless tenth to pick up his 21st save.
It's
nothing new when a former Dodger burns his old team. It happens
all the time. A gem by Greg Maddux, a couple doubles for Shawn Green,
a stolen base for Dave Roberts. It's always frustrating to watch,
but I can accept it when guys like that hurt the Dodgers—after
all, they hurt other teams, too. But for the love of God, man—Dioner
Navarro and Edwin Jackson? There aren't two guys in baseball
having a tougher time of things, and two nights in a row, they pound
the Dodgers in the ass.
Considering
that former Dodger Dioner Navarro was hitting .172 without a home
run this season, what happened in the seventh inning on Saturday
really shouldn't have come as a surprise to die hard Dodger fans.
With the game tied at three, Navarro deposited a Randy Wolf pitch
over the wall in left-center, giving the Devil Rays the eventual
win. It was probably my fault for thinking just the other day how
times are tough for a lot of former Dodgers. Milton Bradley was
let go by Oakland, Odalis Perez has an ERA over six in Kansas City,
and J.D. Drew is passionately hated in Boston. Those facts don't
provide much consolation after Saturday, though. And with Edwin
Jackson going for Tampa Bay Sunday, the misery could very well worsen.
Every
once in a while, the Dodgers can surprise. After being no-hit for
four innings on Thursday and looking relatively lethargic through
seven, they suddenly exploded for six runs in the eighth inning,
coming from behind to beat Toronto, 8-4. Russell Martin had the
biggest blow, doubling with the bases loaded after Luis Gonzalez
was intentionally walked. Hey, did you know that Russell Martin
is from Canada? Interesting, never heard that before.
On
a day when one Dodger starter went under the knife, another would
have been better off stabbing himself in the chest than taking the
mound. Compounding the Dodgers' pitching woes, Hong-Chih Kuo lasted
just an inning and two-thirds on Wednesday, giving up eight runs—all
in the second inning. When you're calling on Brett Tomko to mop-up
thirty minutes into a game, it's quite sad. By the time Tomko restored
order, the Blue Jays had racked up two walks and six hits, including
a Frank Thomas grand slam that knocked Kuo from Toronto to Regina.
(That's another place in Canada... and it's almost like Vagina.)
If
your Father's Day plans involved taking your Dodger fan Dad to the
stadium on Sunday, hopefully you were kind enough to get him liquored
up before the game started. Once it did start, it wasn't a pretty
sight for Dad. Or for anyone else wearing blue. In being blown out,
10-4, the Dodgers lost ground in the West, lost one of their valued
rookies, and lost bragging rights in Southern California.
Gee,
you mean firing Eddie Murray didn't solve all of the Dodgers' problem?
In the eighteen innings since their hitting coach was shown the
door, the Dodgers have scored a grand total of two runs. Both runs
benefited Derek Lowe on Friday, who pitched a gem to win 2-1. Seeing
two runs on the scoreboard, Lowe must have thought it was Christmas.
Eddie
Murray’s third stint with the Dodger organization has come to an
end—this time with a pink slip. The Dodger hitting coach was fired
on Thursday morning because, well, it was the easiest thing to do.
When you rear-end someone, you claim their brake lights weren’t
working. When you get diagnosed with syphilis, you accuse your wife
of having an affair. And when you can’t hit, you fire the hitting
coach.
The
longer Nomar Garciaparra goes without a home run, the more chance
one of his newborn daughters will hit one first. No girls hit any
for the Dodgers on Tuesday, but Hong-Chih Kuo did—which is
almost as bad. Now two Dodger pitchers share Nomar's season total
in home runs: one.
When
the Mets come to town these days, it's like looking in a mirror...
except you see former Dodgers and not your ugly mug. So basically
it's not like looking in a mirror at all, so nevermind. But the
point is this: Cumulatively, there may be more years of Dodger service
wearing a Mets uniform than wearing a Dodger uniform. Pedro Martinez
and Aaron Sele didn't play for the Mets on Monday, but Shawn Green,
Paul Lo Duca, Guillermo Mota, Jose Valentin, and Ricky Ledee got
into the game. How long before the Mets pick up Brady Clark?
Well,
at least the Dodgers didn't have to go to the bullpen on Saturday.
After ninth inning disasters on Thursday and Friday, Derek Lowe
took the mound Saturday and went the distance. That was the good
news. The bad news is that Lowe had as many hits as the Dodgers
two through seven spots in the lineup combined.
After
a rough outing on Thursday night in San Diego, Jonathan Broxton
rebounded on Friday to pitch a scoreless third of an inning. The
rest of the bullpen didn't have quite so much success. In fact,
they were bad. Not bad to the bone, but just bad.
It's
nights like this when I realize that my family, my neighbors, and
my landlord are all very lucky. Why? Because if I didn't have this
website to vent my anger, I'd have taken a fucking sledgehammer
to my TV, I'd have thrown my toaster oven through the goddamn window,
and I'd be screaming obscenities as if my balls were just bitten
off by a shark. Even with the site, it's difficult for me to type
this without eyeing the scissors that's two feet away and wondering
if jabbing it into the side of my face would ease the pain.
When
Vin Scully spends part of the seventh inning talking about Mike
Cameron's shaved head, you know things aren't going too well for
the Dodgers. Actually, things were downright depressing on Wednesday
night. Slipping another game back of first place, the Dodgers lost
meekly to the Padres, 5-2. It wasn't just another loss, though.
It was a miserable fucking loss. If you watched the game,
you know why:
Takashi
Saito has been out for just two games, but his absence is painfully
felt. On Monday, Jonathan Broxton hung on by a thread to save a
win over the Pirates, and on Tuesday, the Dodgers turned to Rudy
Seanez to go a bit longer than perhaps he should. Trying to save
Broxton for the ninth inning, Grady Little left Seanez in to pitch
the eighth—his second inning of work. It didn't work out too
well, though, with Seanez giving up the eventual winning run to
his former teammates. If the putz had even thought for a second
about his baserunner (if you can call Russell Branyan that) in the
eighth inning, the two teams might still be playing, but he didn't,
and the Dodgers are no longer in first place.
There
was bad news and good news going into Monday's Dodger game against
the Pirates. The bad news was that the Dodgers would be without
Taskashi Saito. The good news was that they'd soon be able to leave
the City of Pittsburgh. While it was only a four-game series, it
seems like they've been playing the Pirates for a goddamn month,
and I'm tired of it. Too much fucking yellow. It's a color for a
traffic sign, not a baseball team.
From
the time he broke into the Major Leagues, Salomon Torres has always
been good to the Dodgers. As Vin Scully will never let us forget,
Torres was the one who the Dodgers pounded on the last day of the
'93 season, killing the Giants' hopes of a division title. Torres
helped the Dodgers out again on Sunday, giving up an eighth inning
home run to Andre Ethier that capped a 5-4 comeback win against
the Pirates.
Time
may diminish certain things, but it definitely hasn't diminished
the joy that comes from beating Jim Tracy's ballclub. The Dodgers
knocked off the Pirates again on Friday, 5-4, beating Zach Duke.
That's the third win of the year over the Pirates and the ninth
since Tracy and the Dodgers parted ways. Of course whenever the
Dodgers play Pittsburgh, I'm reminded of what we're missing—quotes
like this: "If
I'm Zach, I want him to know we still have the confidence in him."
If you're Zach, what? Why make every sentence so unnecessarily
complicated? Take out the "if I'm Zach" part, and guess
what? It's the same fucking sentence! Doucheface.