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14, 2003
As for Guillermo, his Dodger future is very much in doubt. He'll likely receive a long suspension (probably for backpeddling off the field) and has surely lost the respect of fans and many of his teammates. A former teammate of Mota's in Montreal, Scott Strickland, called the Dodger pitcher a "punk." The LA Times quoted Strickland as saying, "It's not like he has the best character. He got caught stealing in Montreal. He's not a model citizen, and he's not a model teammate." Meanwhile, you've got Dodger players acknowledging that the beaning of Piazza was intentional, Dan Evans saying it wasn't, Jim Tracy saying all kinds of things, and Guillermo Mota proclaiming his innocence. As if the incident itself wasn't embarassing enough, now you've got people within the organization contradicting each other. Aah, finally, Dodger Baseball! March
12, 2003
Mota
was obviously seeking retribution for an incident that occured last
spring. On March 28, 2002, Mota hit Piazza in the ass with a 3-0
pitch in the seventh inning. Piazza gave Mota an angry look and
was replaced by a pinch runner. Piazza remained on the Mets bench
rather than head to the clubhouse.When Mota passed the Mets bench
on his way to the clubhouse in the middle of the eighth, Piazza
confronted him, grabbed him by the shirt, and the two began shoving
each other. More than anything, it looked like a dad scolding his
kid—roughly. "If I need to protect myself, I'm going to
do it," Piazza said after last year's confrontation. "I
just felt the time had come to address the issue." For Piazza's sake, it's a good thing Mota ran away on Wednesday night. Had Piazza gotten to Mota, he'd likely end up on trial for murder. Mota, who actually homered earlier in the game, has officially earned himself a spot in Dodger lore as the biggest vagina in the organization's history. March
7, 2003
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Randy
Johnson is still very tall, very ugly, and very angry. But, for
a day at least, the Dodgers didn't seem to be bothered. Behind a
brilliant opening day performance by Hideo Nomo, the Dodgers began
the season on a good note, crushing the Diamondbacks 8-0. Brian
Jordan knocked in three runs, and Paul Lo Duca picked up two with
an RBI single off of Johnson. Even Cesar Izturis got into the action,
picking up what figure to be his only two hits in April. Izturis
came close to hitting one out in the 3rd inning, and then almost
took the Big, Ugly Unit's head off with a line drive in the 7th
inning. All the credit, of course, must go to Jim Tracy, whose head
is now bigger than Jack Clark's. (See the LA Times if you're in
the dark.) We'll end with a few opening day observations: Fred McGriff's
neck is getting longer, Adrian Beltre needs to wash his hair, and
Matt Williams is beginning to decompose.
Dodger
batting coach Jack Clark, trying to split town after learning that
Jason Romano made the team, was involved in a motorcycle accident
Sunday morning in Phoenix. According to initial reports, Clark is
in stable condition after suffering 8 broken ribs, cranial lacerations,
and possible internal bleeding. The 47-year-old coach wasn't wearing
a helmet. (Apparently they don't make helmets for people with heads
so huge.) Clark was reportedly in good spirits at an Arizona hospital,
thankful that he won't have to witness half the team slumping in
April. Sunday's accident happened when a minivan traveling eastbound
on I-10 made an unsafe lane change, striking a second car, which
then hit Clark's motorcycle. The Arizona Highway Patrol identified
the driver of the minivan as 44-year-old Tom Niedenfuer. All joking
aside, we wish Clark the best. And for a guy flying off his motorcycle
on the freeway without a helmet, he's pretty damn lucky. Play ball!
Giovanni
Carrara was surprised. And so were fans—even those who grew
tired of his mediocrity last season and Jim Tracy's unexplainable
confidence in the big, hairy Venezuelan pitcher. When Carrara was
released on Wednesday, even some fellow teammates were shocked.
But what's more shocking is the reason behind the release. The 35-year-old
Carrara had a non-guaranteed contract of $790,000. He will receive
$194,262 from the Dodgers, meaning that the team saves almost $600,000.
According to Dodger Blues sources (who will remain nameless...well,
because they don't exist), the Dodgers will use this money to purchase
ketchup packets for concession stands throughout the stadium. We
applaud such a decision. Aren't we all tired of pumping wads of
ketchup onto a stack of napkins or the lid of a cup or the inside
of your hat? Besides, while Carrara certainly has a better fastball
than a ketchup packet, there's no denying that ketchup tastes better
on fries. OK, it's time for the fucking season to start.
For
the first few years, he was just maturing. Then, just as he was
supposedly ready to have a "breakthrough" season, he had
his appendix removed by a cab driver. Now, just days after Jim Tracy
delclared this as his "breakthrough" season, Adrian
Beltre has been sidelined by an ankle injury. While he's expected
to still be ready for opening day, a lingering injury will give
Beltre the excuse he needs for another .260, 18 HR, 65 RBI season.
Injury or not, maybe it's just time to accept the fact that Beltre
is a .260/18/65 hitter. Yeah, he's no Jeff Hamilton. But he's no
Albert Pujols either. He's somewhere in between, and will always
be. People who keep looking for something more are just fooling
themselves. If, by some freak of nature, Beltre proves us wrong,
we'll acknowledge our mistake. But no one is breaking out the apology
note cards just yet.
Some
people can't get enough ice cream. Some people can't get enough
TV. Some people can't get enough exercise. And some general managers
just can't get enough weak-hitting middle infielders. Well, one
general manager in particular. Dan Evans is at it again, this time
claming infielder Gookie Dawkins off waviers from Cincinnati. Gookie—who's
less ridiculous name is Travis—hit .125 in 48 at-bats with
the Reds last season. At Double-A and Triple-A he didn't do much
better, hitting .261. Yet, the Dodgers jumped at the chance to add
yet another no-hit, all-wheels underachiever to their roster. Not
to mention the fact that they now have an entire dugout of guys
competing for the middle infield spots. Alex Cora, Cesar Izturis,
and Joe Thurston (despite a poor spring) are locks. Then you've
got Terry Shumpert. And Jason Romano. And Jolbert Cabrera. Seriously,
you need another one? Initially there was the possibility that Dan
Evans actually thought he was getting a cookie from the Reds,
but that theory was shot to hell when Evans said, "Our scouts
like the kid." If you ask Jim Tracy, it's no wonder why they
like the kid. According to Tracy, "he can catch the ball."
Hell, those guys only come around once in a lifetime. What the fuck
were the Reds thinking?
Despite
reports that Mota had left the Port St. Lucie clubhouse Wednesday
evening before Mike Piazza came searching for him, inside sources
reveal that the Mets' catcher did indeed find Mota—just the
wrong Mota. Moments after Guillermo Mota was rushed out of the clubhouse
by Brian Jordan, Mike Piazza sped his BMW to the other side of the
stadium and entered the supposedly secured clubhouse, shouting "Where's
Mota? Where's Mota?" Hearing his name called, Dodger coach
Manny Mota, who had been dropping anchor, walked out of the bathroom.
"I'm Mota, here I am," said the 65-year-old former Dodger
pinch-hitter. Still in a fit of rage, Piazza lunged at Manny, unconcerned
that he was attacking the wrong Mota. After a few punches and kicks,
Piazza hurried out of the clubhouse, and Manny lay dazed on the
floor, spitting out teeth.
Figuring
that spring training had been far too calm, Guillermo Mota decided
to liven things up on Wednesday night. Rekindling a feud with Mike
Piazza that dated back to last spring, Mota came inside to Piazza
to start the bottom half of the sixth inning. Mota's next pitch
nailed Piazza on the back, and Piazza wasted no time going after
Mota. The cowardly Dodger pitcher threw his glove at Piazza and
then took off running. As Piazza gave chase, Mota headed past first
base, knowing that he was about to get his lanky ass kicked. A few
Dodgers then intercepted Piazza, tackling him to the ground. In
the midst of a violent rage and wanting blood, however, Piazza desperately
struggled to break free. Meanwhile, as Jeromy Burnitz and other
Mets chased, Mota swung his arms wildly (apparently attempting to
fly away) and backpeddled into the Dodger dugout. He immdeiately
changed his soiled shorts, and is currently on a plane back to the
Dominican.
The
Dodgers were worried after closer Eric Gagne experienced stiffness
in his back earlier in the week. Gagne underwent an MRI on Thursday,
and the results were negative. While some believe that Gagne experienced
a back spasm, inside sources tell Dodger Blues that in actuality
he was attacked by a crawfish that had been living in his goatee.
While crawfish are aquatic crustaceans, Gagne's shelled creature
apparently survived on sweat and food particles. At some point early
in the week, however, the crawfish escaped the goatee in search
of better living conditions. It was than that the crawfish stung
Gagne on his back, causing the eventual stiffness. A simlilar incident
happened in the late '80s when Alejandro Pena, out for a swim near
Vero Beach, was stung on the nuts by a manta ray.