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> MARCH 2007 March 29, 2007 They're baaaaaack The Dodgers and Angels kicked off the annual Freeway Series on Thursday, drawing a crowd of... well... about twelve (half of whom were probably family members of Randy Wolf). From the latest reports, the twelve people are still trying to navigate their way out of the newly configured parking lot. With Rafael Furcal hurt and Nomar Garciaparra at home with his litter, it was a hell of a game to watch... especially if you came out to the stadium to root for Larry Barnes. As a bonus, you also got to cheer on Larry Bigbie, Brady Clark, and Ramon Martinez. The game got exciting in the 8th when Anaheim outfielder Nick Gorneault decided that the final weekend of spring training was the perfect time for a forearm to the face of Mike Lieberthal. Sure, if it's a close game during the regular season you bowl over a catcher, but this is the goddamn Freeway Series. So settle down there, Nicky and take it down a notch. Save your rage for a fight with Shea Hillenbrand. March
26, 2007 With Jason Repko on the DL until trainers can find a way to develop a full-body force field, the Dodgers needed another righty outfielder off the bench, and it didn't make sense for Matt Kemp to be the guy. Just as Chad Billingsley will probably turn to shit coming out of the bullpen twice a week, it would do Kemp no good to be a pinch-hitter. If Kemp's not starting, he belongs at Triple-A. That's not to say Kemp shouldn't be starting. Frankly, he should be in centerfield instead of Juan Pierre, but Ned Colletti apparently had $45 million to burn. One last note on the trade: With Dessens gone, Brady Clark becomes the Dodgers' last link to Mike Piazza. Back in '98, of course, Piazza was traded to the Marlins for Gary Sheffield, Jim Eisenreich, and Bobby Bonilla. After the 2001 season, Sheffield was sent to the Braves in exchange for Brian Jordan and Odalis Perez. Jordan eventually left as a free agent, but Perez was traded last year to Kansas City for Dessens. Now, with Dessens on his way to Milwaukee, it's Clark's turn to hold the Piazza Torch. Maybe he can find Rupert Murdoch and burn him with it. March
22, 2007 As for Repko, what goes around comes around. Two innings after taking out his teammate, Jason took himself out, falling on the warning track after "slipping" (according to him). He suffered a strained left hamstring and figures to be on the DL come Opening Day. That's good news for the other guys on the field, who now don't have to worry about colliding with a lunatic. It's also good news for Larry Bigbie, who now figures to make the team as a backup. Replacing Furcal, however, would be a bit more difficult. Ok, it would be a lot more difficult. Ok, the Dodgers would probably be fucked without him. In other injury news, Brett Tomko and Mark Hendrickson—despite pitching like shit of late—now hold an edge over Hong Chih Kuo, who's nursing a sore shoulder (and a bloated ERA). Brad Penny, of course, also has a sore shoulder, leaving Rudy Seanez and Kelly Stinnett as the only healthy Dodgers. March
20, 2007 "Everything is good," Little said. "It's a good feeling to know that he did this before this season started. We have a chance to be good and be good for a while." Little then went on to use other first grade vocabulary words like big, telephone, and daddy. He then asked for a popsicle and went to his office to take a nap. In other Dodger news, the team has formally announced changes to the parking system at Dodger Stadium. In other words, they've added a parking system, since the 200 acres of asphalt been complete chaos for many years. What it means is two things: (1) You're not going to be able to afford that third plate of nachos anymore, and (2) The parking lot is going to be even more confusing than it was before. Let's face it, Dodger fans aren't the brightest bulbs in Los Angeles. It's tough enough for them to read their ticket stubs and find their seats. Now they're going to have to follow directions to enter the stadium, to park, to walk to the gates, and to leave the stadium after the game? You'd like to think it'll be a learning experience for fans, and that they'll eventually understand the flow of things after going to a couple games, but these are the same people who become complete retards when they see a beachball and yell "balk" every time a pitcher throws to first base. They're incapable of learning. Should be a lot of fun. March
17, 2007
With three runs in the eighth inning, the Dodgers beat the Astros, 7-5. With the win, the Dodgers move to 13-6 this spring. Of course, Spring Training records mean very little... unless you're the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, in which case your 2-15 record is a pretty good indicator that you'll be shitty again. March
14, 2007 With Tatis and Jackson gone, the big debate in Vero these days seems to be over the last spot in the starting rotation. Will it be Brett Tomko? Mark Hendrickson? Joe Mays? Could a dark horse like D.J. Houlton snag the fifth spot? Or will Hong-Chih Kuo's herbal remedies ultimately give him the edge? Well, I've only got one question: Who fucking cares? Whichever guy begins the year as the fifth starter will be out of the rotation by the end of May, guaranteed. That's why they're the fifth starter—because they're totally mediocre. They're one slip-up away from middle relief, and because they're a fifth starter, they'll slip up. They're all capable of putting together a couple of decent starts, but the law of averages will catch up to them eventually. And I believe the law of averages is this: When you have a career ERA of 4.95, you'll be coming out of the bullpen at some point during the year to mop up a 14-3 blowout. March
11, 2007 "I no longer have anything to do with baseball," said Jackson, stating the obvious. He then angrily emptied his locker and knocked over a couple chairs on his way out of the clubhouse. If you live in Vero Beach, lock your doors. If you operate a bar, strip club, or shady motel in Vero Beach, you can expect a visitor any minute. The Dodgers also reassigned Fernando Tatis, Ken Huckaby, Travis Smith, and Dario Veras. Sadly, the Dario Veras fan club was due to arrive in Florida on Tuesday. Definitely crappy timing. March
7, 2007 I have to backtrack for a second. It's still a little odd to type Fernando Tatis. Is this guy really wearing a Dodger uniform? What the hell is this man doing in Dodgertown? It's not that he's been a huge Dodger nemisis or anything (aside from the Chan Ho Park game, of course), it's just that he's so... well... totally friggin' unnecessary. The Dodgers have a dozen young guys fighting for spots on the roster, or at least fighting to show everyone what they're capable of, and Fernando Tatis gets thirteen at-bats? Hell, why not let Manny Mota have a few swings? In other Dodger news, Nomar Garciaparra isn't hurt yet. Stay tuned. March
3, 2007 In
other Dodger news, Andy La Roche made two errors at third base on
Saturday—two days after Wilson Betemit also made two. After
the game, Grady Little announced that he'd be playing third base
on Sunday. Actually, the situation as third is no joke. The Dodgers
have made 52 errors at third base over the last two seasons, and
it's not going to improve with Betemit there for a full season.
Maybe Bigbie can play third.
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Ah,
yes, Dodger baseball is back. When you see the opposition steal
three bases in the first two innings, you know Dodger baseball is
back. When you see a team from Anaheim playing well in L.A., you
know Dodger baseball is back. When your $45 million rabbit gets
thrown out attempting his first stolen base in front of the home
crowd, you know Dodger baseball is back. And when a newly acquired
outfielder hits into a triple play in his first at-bat wearing blue,
you know damn well that Dodger baseball is back.
A
day after the Dodgers named Brett Tomko the fifth starter, earning
Mark Hendrickson a prized spot in the bullpen, someone broke the
news to Ned Colletti that they already had a Mark Hendrickson in
the bullpen—only his name was Elmer Dessens. Without a spot
for the right-hander, the Dodgers traded Dessens on Monday to Milwaukee
for backup outfielder Brady Clark. In 138 games last season, Clark
hit .263 with four homers and 29 RBIs. Although Clark is making
more than twice as much as Dessens, the Brewers included $2.1 million
in the deal... which either says they really wanted to get
rid of Clark or they really wanted Dessens. Or they're just
really confused.
The
way the Dodgers have been playing this week, you've got to figure
that Rafael Furcal and Jason Repko actually welcomed trips
to the hospital on Thursday afternoon. The Dodgers have been outscored
41-3 over the last five games, and now find themselves without their
starting shortstop and one of their outfielders. Furcal was injured
in the first inning when Repko—starting for the first time
in 11 days because of a groin strain—pinned Furcal's foot to
the ground in an effort to slide underneath him on a short pop fly
to centerfield. Dodger trainers think Furcal should be back in action
within a week, but considering that his ankle apparently looked
like a basketball, it sounds like it could be a lot longer. Of course,
these are the Dodgers we're talking about, so we fully expect Furcal
to come back on Sunday and immediately re-injure himself. "Maybe
we brought him back too soon," they'll say.
Whatever
Grady Little may do or not do in the dugout, he has one thing going
for him: he gets along with Ned Colletti and Frank McCourt. That
relationship earned him a contract extension on Tuesday, so we've
got Grady for at least two more seasons—maybe even three. He's
a mediocre manager, can bore you to death with his drawl, and half
the time looks like his head is filled with nothing but Jello...
but at least he's a step above Jim Tracy. He may not be any smarter
than old Jimmy, but there's something pretty harmless about him.
Maybe it's the grey hair. Or maybe it's the fact that he looks like
he just came from raking the barn. Whatever it is, I don't have
the intense anger toward Little that I had toward Tracy. If I saw
Jim Tracy drowning in a pool, I'd pop open a beer. If I saw Grady
Little drowning in a pool, I'd call 9-1-1... and then pop open a
beer.
For
Dodger fans who didn't make the trek to Florida this spring (in
other words, all but about seven of you), the TV broadcast on Saturday
offered a chance for you to see D.J. Houlton, Ramon Martinez, and
Joe Mays. It was also probably your last chance to see Joe Mays,
as the right-hander game up three runs in the first inning he pitched
and doesn't figure to make the club out of Spring Traning. If you
didn't catch the game, here's what you didn't miss:
The
washed up journeymen are dropping like flies. Three days after Damian
Jackson stormed out of Vero Beach, it's clear that everyone's favorite
grand slam man—Fernando Tatis—has done the same. The Dodgers
had reassigned Tatis to minor league camp on Sunday, but the spring
invitee didn't report and was released on Wednesday. Ned Colletti
could have saved everyone a lot of trouble by doing what the 29
other general managers did in the first place—not invite those
guys to camp—but apparently he had a couple extra stamps he
was itching to use. You mean Damian Jackson and Fernando Tatis aren't
going to be anchoring the left side of the infield for the Dodgers?
Shocking.
Upsetting
news on Sunday: Damian Jackson's distinguished Dodger career has
come to an end. As part of their first round of cuts, the Dodgers
released the 33-year-old journeyman. Gee, can't imagine why Jackson
was one of the first to go. Was it his .125 average this spring?
Was it the fact that the Dodgers have about three dozen backup infielders
and outfielders? Or was it the fact that Ned Colletti finally decided
to look at Jackson's numbers over the last eight years and realize
that he's been in the majors eight years too long? We may never
know, but we do know that Jackson threw a temper tantrum after hearing
the news.
A
week into the exhibition season, and the Dodgers look like the Bad
News Bears. Any reason to worry? Probably not, since many of the
errors have been committed by guys like Damian Jackson and Fernando
Tatis who don't figure to make the team, but it's never to early
to throw in the towel. Just don't throw the towel at James Loney,
who doesn't need anything else distracting him in the outfield.
Loney misplayed three fly balls on Wednesday, making Billy Ashley
very proud.
On
Saturday in Port St. Lucie, Florida, Spring Training invitee Larry
Bigbie finally made an out. The outfielder had gone 5-for-5 in the
spring before grounding into a fielder's choice in the ninth inning.
He's now 5-for-6 with 2 home runs and seven RBIs. Competing with
Matt Kemp, Jason Repko, and Choo Freeman for a backup outfield spot,
Bigbie's early performance conjures up thoughts of another Vero
Beach legend: Jason Romano. After hitting .083 for the Dodgers in
2003, Romano went nuts in the spring of 2005, leading the Dodgers
in batting average (.379), hits (22), runs (16), doubles (5) home
runs (5), RBI (14), stolen bases (5) and slugging (.724). Well aware
that Romano was in the midst of a streak that far exceeded his actual
ability, Paul DePodesta traded him just before opening day. Romano
has had 64 major league at-bats since then. If Bigbie follows in
Romano's shoes, he'll tear it up for the next few weeks and then
be serving you a hot dog at Wienerschnitzel two years from now.