> NOVEMBER 2001

November 24, 2001
Elster Sued by Flight Attendant

According to an AP report, former Dodgers shortstop Kevin Elster— who hit 3 home runs in the first game ever at Pac Bell Park— has been included in a lawsuit filed by a Delta Air Lines flight attendant. The suit, filed in June by Sandra Komine, originally identified Carlos Perez and an unnamed 200-pound player. Komine claims she was threatened and violently shoved during a flight last year. While she didn't identify the unnamed player until this week, it was obvious that it wasn't Tom Goodwin, since he only weighs 130-pounds and can't make contact with anything.

November 15, 2001
Dodgers' New Strategy: Just Hire Staff

A decent shortstop? A closer? A leadoff man? Fuck it, let's just hire staff. That seems to be the Dodgers' new strategy. Since the World Series ended less than three weeks ago, the team has hired Joey Amalfitano, Bill Bavasi, John Boles, and now Terry Collins, all for player development or advisor positions. All well-respected baseball men (except for Collins, of course, who was widely hated by his players when he managed the Angels), the foursome should strengthen the Dodgers' ability to evaluate talent, if nothing else. But here's something for Dan Evans to think about: THE FUCKING TEAM!!!!! Stop hiring former managers, and start thinking about how to get something out of a $110 million payroll. There are now five former major league managers working in some capacity with the team: Tommy Lasorda, Glenn Hoffman, Jim Riggleman, John Boles, and Terry Collins. Including Jim Tracy, that's six managers. Yet they have no leadoff man. Brilliant.

November 13, 2001
Dodgers Hire Bavasi and Boles

In what seems like a never-ending cycle of management personnel turnover, the Dodgers on Tuesday hired former Angel GM Bill Bavasi as director of player development and former Marlins manager John Boles as a senior advisor. (Didn't they just hire Joey Amalfitano as senior advisor? Is he gone already?) "I'm really excited about bringing Bill and John aboard," Dodgers GM Dan Evans said. "We're talking about two guys with a lot of enthusiasm and a wealth of experience." Gee, I wonder why they're now trying to hire people with experience. Could it be that Dan Evans has none? Could it be that the only thing he knows about are "transaction rules" (which was said to be his expertise when hired)?

November 9, 2001
Oooh, the Diamondbacks Must Be Crapping in Their Pants Now!

Since he was so great in his first stint with the team, the Dodgers re-acquired Omar Daal on Friday in exchange for two minor leaguers, who, without a doubt, will become stars. Daal pitched for the Dodgers from 1993-1995, when he was thankfully traded.

Resigned to losing Chan Ho Park and possibly playing most of the 2002 season without Darren Dreifort, the Dodgers felt they had to acquire a starting pitcher. True, they do. But Omar Daal isn't the answer. Even little retarded kids in Venezuela know that. Daal was 13-9 in 2001, but struggled during the second half of the season. Hmmm, maybe that's because he sucks. (Take, for example, his 6-19 record two years ago.)

In exchange for Daal, the Phillies receive pitchers Jesus Cordero, 22, and Eric Junge, 24. While Junge definitely looks like a dipshit (see photo to right), the Dodgers aren't exactly in a position to be trading away young arms. Aren't they constantly talking about how their farm system has been depleted? WELL THIS IS WHY!!!!!

November 9, 2001
Finally a Good Move: Shaw is Out

The Dodgers have declined the $7 million option on Jeff Shaw's contract, ending his time with the Dodgers and making him a free agent. With a lousy fastball and a complete lack of intimidation, Shaw managed to rack up 129 saves with the team. It seemed, however, like he blew twice as many. Good riddance.

November 3, 2001
Another Ex-Dodger Suddenly Becomes Ex-Sucky

In the grand tradition of crappy ex-Dodgers hitting it big elsewhere, Craig Counsell has become a spark for the Diamondbacks. Counsell has picked up key hits in the Division Series and League Championship Series, and played flawlessly in the field throughout the World Series. The friggin' Diamondbacks are now World Champs, and disgustingly Counsell is one of the reasons why.

"You can't explain how valuable he's been," Randy Johnson said of Counsell. "If my son's not going to be a left-handed pitcher, I'd want him to be a Craig Counsell. He plays the game hard and plays the game right."

In 50 games with the Dodgers in 1999, Counsell hit .259 with no home runs and a measly 9 RBIs. He was then released by the Dodgers midway through spring training in 2000.

Now the little asshole has his second World Series ring. But that's nothing new. For years there's been a pattern of players leaving the Dodgers and making it to the Series with other teams. To name just a few: Rudy Seanez, Jose Vizcaino, Chad Curtis, Mike Morgan, Mike Piazza, Todd Zeile, Lenny Harris, Carlos Hernandez... on and on. Bastards.

November 2, 2001
Amalfitano Back With Dodgers

Former coach Joey Amalfitano has been hired by the Dodgers as Senior Advisor to Baseball Operations. Normally he would just be called "Advisor to Baseball Operations," but "Senior" was added once the Dodgers realized he was 86 years old.

October 30, 2001
Sheffield Wants to Stay in L.A.

The Los Angeles Times reports that Gary Sheffield wants to stay with the Dodgers. Unfortunately for him, his wish may not be granted. The Dodgers still don't have many prospects worth trading, and they've still got a shitload of players with huge contracts. Sheffield's contract is fairly reasonable, on a relative scale, and his value has increased since his tirade and trade demands before last season. Sheffield is a major force in the Dodger lineup, but if they can get a good shortstop and maybe a lead-off guy for him, Dan Evans should make the move. Send him the the Royals. God that would be great to see.