> OCTOBER 2007

First the big news: Tim Hamulack has elected free-agency. Now for the other news: Grady Little is done. Despite recent assurances from the front office that Little would be the manager next season, the Dodgers apparently had a change of heart after either (a) finally realizing that most of the American public would be more competent than Little, (b) watching the Little-less Red Sox win another championship, (c) deciding that they haven't fired anyone in awhile, or (d) getting a hard-on over big names suddenly available.

While nothing has been formally announced, the Dodgers' silence says it all. If they weren't making a change, Colletti would be returning phone calls and the Dodgers' PR people wouldn't be saying "no comment." They'd be saying, "Grady Little is our manager for 2008." Clearly, Grady Little is not their manager. Clearly, Frank McCourt has once again been secretly plotting against one of his own—and one of his own who he's publicly supported. Colletti, too, has supported Little, saying after the season that Little would be back. Obviously, what Colletti meant to say was, "He'll be back unless someone better comes along, at which time I'll completely deny ever saying that he'd be back."

So while McCourt and Colletti are completely full of shit, I can confidently say that either of the Joe's rumored to be on the Dodgers' radar (Girardi or Torre) would be a world of difference from Grady Little. Even if Little was able to heal the Dodgers' fractured clubhouse, the fact remains: he's a terrible game manager. Period.

Since it unfortunately looks like Girardi is headed to New York, it would seem that it's Torre or bust for the Dodgers. It would also be Torre and bucks for the Dodgers. The former Yankee manager turned down $5 million from the club he's been with for 12 years, so the Dodgers wouldn't figure to get much of a discount. That's a lot to spend on a guy who doesn't hit 30 home runs, but if he's smart enough to figure out that Mark Hendrickson should be sitting on the bench, maybe he's worth it. You've got to wonder why an established guy like Torre would want to work for two nutjobs like McCourt and Colletti, but I guess anything is easier than putting up with George Steinbrenner.

If Torre did end up with the Dodgers, odds are Don Mattingly would join him… fulfilling my childhood dream of Donnie Baseball wearing Dodger Blue (twenty years later). Speaking of dreams, though, this whole thing could easily turn into a nightmare if A-Rod were to follow his former manager out West. There are only a handful of teams that can afford A-Rod, and the Dodgers are certainly one of them. Both McCourt and Colletti have proven that they're capable of doing idiotic things with grotesque amounts of money—especially when a big name is involved—so there's definitely reason to fear. Sure, A-Rod is sickly good, but hasn't he shown that one guy doesn't make a ballclub? Hell, with the talent that the Yankees had, twenty-four guys apparently don't make a ballclub. Here's hoping that Colletti still holds a grudge against Scott Boras... and that the rash forming on my lower back isn't Lyme disease.

October 23, 2007
Lugo hungry for a ring (and just plain hungry)

Considering that you're reading this, I'll assume you're not one of the hundreds of thousands in Southern California who've been evacuated. (If you have been evacuated, two things: First, my thoughts are with you, and second, what the hell are you doing reading this crappy web site?) Anyway, assuming you still have a home and a TV and the desire to break away from Chuck Henry for a little while, maybe you'll be watching Game 1 of the World Series on Wednesday.

If you do watch the Series, and you're a Dodger fan, you'll certainly be asking yourself a few questions. Among them: Why is Julio Lugo in the fucking World Series? Will J.D. Drew crack under pressure? Will Eric Gagne be used if the Red Sox are ahead by fewer than 12 runs? I don't have the answers to those questions, but I can help you decide which former Dodgers you should be pulling for... and which ones you should hope trip coming out of the dugout during pre-game introductions.

Matt Herges: The lone former Dodger on the Rockies, Herges posted a 2.96 ERA this season (pitching the majority of the time in Colorado, of course) and has yet to give up a run in the playoffs. He pitched fairly well when he was with the Dodgers from 1999-2001, and—as you probably know—banged Todd Hollandsworth's sister. And married her, too. No reason to have animosity towards Herges. Best of luck to him.

Alex Cora: After spending parts of six seasons in L.A. and part of one in Cleveland, Cora is in his third season with the Red Sox. He had an atrocious on-base percentage this season (and not much better the two years prior to that) and hasn't had an at-bat yet this postseason. However, he fouled off like 64 straight pitches before homering a few years back off Matt Clement, so that's good enough for me. Best of luck to him.

Eric Gagne: An interesting dilemma. On the one hand, Gagne had one of the most incredible runs in Dodger history (if not baseball history), but on the other hand left Los Angeles to follow the cash. On the one hand, he had more fire (probably not the best word to use today) than any other Dodger in the last twenty years, but on the other hand would say "I've never felt better" just before blowing out his arm time and time again. This season, Gagne pitched well in Texas and has been God awful in Boston. You make your own call on Gagne.

Julio Lugo: Absolutely worthless in 146 at-bats with the Dodgers last season (and no better with the glove), Lugo didn't do much better for the Sox this season either—despite his hit-and-run single a few days ago. He also didn't accept any meal money, apparently. Skinny as a Dodger, Lugo now appears emaciated and close to death. Here's hoping he doesn't pick up a World Series ring before he expires.

J.D. Drew: Ah, the best for last. Drew played in 140 games this season with the Red Sox, the third highest total of his career. His power numbers were down, but he finished with a .373 OBP and, of course, hit the big grand slam in Game 6 of the ALCS. In doing so, Drew became the first player with a clitoris to homer in a postseason game. He can eat me.

Go Rockies.

October 16, 2007
Two more years without the score

For a couple of weeks, life was very good. I had sun, sand, and was 12,000 miles away from the Santa Monica Freeway. I didn't think about Grady Little even once. It was paradise. But then I got home on Monday night and within hours learned that the contracts of Rick Monday and Charley Steiner were extended through the 2009 season. Immediately my neck stiffened, my eye twitched, and I felt a queasy feeling in my stomach. I really need another vacation.

Monday's announcement of the contract extensions was made in conjunction with the announcement that KABC 790 would become the Dodgers' new radio home through the 2010 season, bringing the team back to its flagship station from 1973 to 1997—way back when broadcasters used to give out the game score. The return to KABC sadly means you'll no longer get traffic reports between pitches, but something tells me there won't be too many complaints about that.

Absent, of course, from the announcement, was any mention of Vin Scully continuing beyond the 2008 season. While it's all in Vinny's control and the Dodgers won't touch the man until he's pissing on himself during the 7th inning stretch, you've got to wonder how much more he can take... especially when he's forced to watch a .500 ballclub day in and day out. Who knows, the way the Rockies are playing, maybe Vinny will end up in Colorado after the 2008 season.