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> SEPTEMBER 2008 September 28, 2008 - Giants 3, Dodgers 1
As for the Dodgers, Sunday's loss may not have meant much in the standings (putting them at an unimpressive 84-78 for the season), but it may very well have been a glimpse of what's to come as they enter the playoffs. The Dodgers took a 1-0 lead into the sixth inning, then saw Clayton Kershaw's ass saved by a diving catch, Chan Ho Park's ass kicked in two-thirds of an inning, and Cory Wade give up three consecutive hits. The Dodgers certainly have question marks going into the playoffs, and their bullpen may be the biggest one. Actually, it's not even a question mark. It's more like an ellipsis. (That's "dot-dot-dot," for you geniuses out there.) I have no confidence in Park, no confidence in Scott Proctor, no confidence in Jonathan Broxton, and no confidence anymore in Takashi Saito. I do have confidence in Hong-Chih Kuo, but he's apparently on the shelf, and I do have confidence in Joe Beimel's ability to pitch but not his ability to refuse a drink in Chicago on Tuesday night. So basically the Dodgers' need to score a shitload of runs while Derek Lowe and Chad Billingsley are in the game, and then hope it stands up when the pen starts to give it all back. Either that, or they'd better get the herpes medication ready and give Jose Lima a call. September
25, 2008 - Padres 7, Dodgers 5
So who's to say the Dodgers are actually the Western Division champs? You couldn't necessarily blame someone if they wouldn't believe it. After all, the Dodgers suffered through injuries to Nomar Garciaparra, Jeff Kent, Juan Pierre, Gary Bennett, Brad Penny, Takashi Saito, Hong-Chih Kuo, and Rafael Furcal, had to swallow Esteban Loaiza's $8 million salary in May, had no third baseman for half the season, had a hitting coach who had family problems, a pinch-hitter who had pinch-hitting problems, and a centerfielder who made ice cream sundaes more often than he made contact. They filled in the gaps with guys like Luis Maza, Angel Berroa, and Pablo Ozuna, and watched as Jason Schmidt put his comeback on hold—dash;again and again. Finally, they landed Casey Blake, Manny Ramirez, and Greg Maddux, and as the Diamondbacks collapsed, the Dodgers stepped up. They probably should have done it earlier, of course, being in baseball's worst division, but they're division champs nonetheless. Someone might want to tell that to Jeff Kent, though, since he didn’t join the rest of his teammates in a post-game champagne bath for fans around the Dodger dugout. I must say, it was one of the cooler things I've witnessed at the stadium in recent years. There was Russell Martin standing on the dugout roof, Joe Beimel in a Dodger robe and bath slippers, Manny Ramirez running around giving people champagne shots, and Angel Berroa wearing snorkeling gear (which he probably bought for the vacation he expected to have come Sunday). A little bizarre, but a lot of fun—fun that will be forgotten in a couple of days if the Dodgers don't make something of this opportunity. So drink it up now, boys, and then make Jose Lima proud. September
24, 2008 - Dodgers 12, Padres 4
Wednesday also marked the return of two cripples: Jeff Kent and Rafael Furcal. Kent singled as a pinch-hitter in the seventh (and can now claim he's still part of the team), and Furcal struck out as a pinch-hitter in the eighth (although it didn’t stop him from dancing a little jig in the dugout). Joe Torre could have taken it a step further and brought in Jason Schmidt to pitch the ninth inning. If nothing else, it would have been entertaining to watch him sever his arm on a 36-mph fastball. So, the Dodgers go to sleep tonight with a magic number of one, and could arrive at the stadium tomorrow afternoon as the Western Division champions—and take the field drunk a couple hours later. That is, of course, if Arizona loses to St. Louis earlier in the day. This may be one time to actually pull for the Diamondbacks. An Arizona win means the Dodgers can do it themselves Thursday night and give fans a real opportunity to celebrate before they’re swept in the playoffs. Too negative? Maybe, but like anticipating a 7.8 on the San Andreas, it never hurts to be prepared. September 23, 2008 - Dodgers 10, Padres 1
Anyway, the Dodgers beat the crap out of San Diego on Tuesday, pushing Arizona three games back with five to play. Nomar Garciaparra returned to the lineup and hit a 3-run homer in the first inning, and Blake DeWitt cracked his eighth homer of the year, a 3-run shot in the fifth. All told, the Dodgers had ten runs on fourteen hits, and the Padres one run on twelve. Chad Billingsley went six rather sloppy innings, but did the job when he needed to. James McDonald, Ramon Troncoso, and Scott Elbert finished up for the Dodgers, and I learned that McDonald is black. (For some reason I had pictured a white guy.) September 21, 2008 - Giants 1, Dodgers 0
I probably should have known it was going to be a waste of a day after the Dodgers loaded the bases in the first inning with nobody out and failed to score, but like the moron I am, I watched all eleven innings… and it just kept getting worse. For starters, the Giants must have had magnets in their gloves. A leaping catch by Ivan Ochoa, a diving catch by Nate Schierholtz, a diving stab by Travis Ishikawa, a diving catch by Randy Winn, another diving catch by Schierholtz. Mixed in the middle, of course, was an outfield assist from Aaron Rowand, who nailed Angel Berroa at the plate in the fifth inning. That play was probably the killer for the Dodgers, and it really shouldn’t have even happened. The Dodgers had guys on first and second with one out, Andre Ethier at the plate, and Manny Ramirez on deck. Ethier scorched one up the middle, and even though Rowand was coming up throwing before Berroa was even rounding third, Larry Bowa sent him in. Rowand made a great throw, and Bengie Molina made a quick tag, but even if it hadn’t taken perfection from the Giants on that play, why send Berroa? You hold him at third, and you’ve got one out, the bases loaded, and Ramirez up. Instead, you’ve got two outs and an empty base to put Ramirez. Moronic. While the last sixteen Dodgers were busy quickly making outs, the Baseball Gods were having a blast plotting the Giants’ victory. Let’s see… a base hit, a double-play the Dodgers can’t quite turn, a pitcher pinch-running, a pitcher stealing the first base of his career while the Dodgers catcher has his finger up his ass, an infield single, and then a base hit by the only guy on the Giants around long enough to appreciate the rivalry. I want my Sunday back. September 17, 2008 - Pirates 15, Dodgers 8
As Nomar got to rest his aching crackers in the clubhouse, the Dodgers began to crack on the field. With a 4-3 lead going into the fifth, Chad Billingsley gave up a slam to Adam LaRoche. The Dodgers inched back with runs in the sixth and seventh, but then all hell broke loose in the bottom of the inning. Only the Dodgers could manage to give up eight runs to the Pirates in a single inning. Count them—eight. And all with two outs. You can probably thank Joe Torre for that, since he pulled Scott Proctor after he easily retired the first two batters of the inning—and then left in Scott Elbert to surrender a walk, homer, single, and double. The single came off the bat of Andy LaRoche, but I can’t exactly whine about a former Dodger coming back to burn them since La Roche is four for his last thirty-five and Manny Ramirez is, oh, the reason why the Dodgers are on a path to the playoffs. Let’s be clear, though—they’re on a path to the playoffs. Stop talking about who they’re going to face, how deep they’re going to go, what their rotation will be… Have you learned nothing? They’re obviously in a good position now, especially considering their schedule compared to that of Arizona, but who the hell knows? Manny Ramirez could break his leg in the shower, Derek Lowe could drown in his own sweat, and Andre Ethier’s wife could have another baby. Anything could happen. Christ, if they can get nineteen hits in Pittsburgh and still lose by seven runs, anything is happening. September 14, 2008 - Rockies 1, Dodgers 0
The absence of Ethier, of course, meant that Juan-for-Four got the start in centerfield. Beyond going one-for-four (of course), Pierre factored big in the 10th inning, backing off of a fly ball that ended up dropping to load the bases for Colorado. Though Matt Kemp ended up diving for the ball, it was probably Pierre who had the best chance of actually catching it… if he hadn’t been afraid to be a man and call for the ball. So, the Dodgers leave Colorado on a sour note, but the standings are still pretty sweet: Dodgers up 4-1/2 on Arizona. It’s hard to believe that it’s the middle of September and we’re talking about a magic number—a Dodger magic number. It’s a nice change from the other magic numbers we’ve been talking about all year: Jason Schmidt’s $15 mil, Rafael Furcal’s $15.7 mil, Nomar’s $9.5 mil, Andruw Jones’ $18 million… and of course Gary Bennett’s $825,000. September 10, 2008 - Dodgers 7, Padres 2
Meanwhile, in San Diego, the Dodgers made it two of three by beating the Padres, 7-2. The win was their tenth in the last eleven games, and it puts them 3-1/2 games in front of Arizona. It was Manny stepping up big again, hitting two home runs for something like the 52nd time in his career. Derek Lowe, however, had to leave the game in the sixth after being hit on the back of the knee with a line drive. Hopefully for the Dodgers, his sweat shielded him from worse injury. Ok, I have to step back for a second. Three and a half games in front of Arizona? Honestly, that’s pretty bizarre to say. Better say it while you can, though. These are the Dodgers. Don’t forget that. September 8, 2008 - Padres 4, Dodgers 0
The Dodgers win eight in a row—culminating with a sweep of the Diamondbacks to take over first place—and then bend over for the lowly Padres?? For Cha Seung Baek no less?? In front of thousands of San Diego fans whose only joy in life comes from beating L.A.?? Holy crap, man, that was embarrassing. Andre Ethier collected three hits and the rest of the Dodger team collected one—total. Okay, on to Greg Maddux... or the shell of a pitcher formerly known as Greg Maddux. In his first start against the Padres since leaving them last month, Maddux sure made Kevin Towers look like a genius. If the two minor leaguers to be named later in the deal that brought Maddux to the Dodgers end up doing nothing other than never raping a minor league mascot, I think it’s safe to say the Padres got the better end of the trade. Maddux gave up four runs Monday, including a first-inning homer to Adrian Gonzalez (who I always want to call Wiki), and is now 1-3 since rejoining the Dodgers. If this season isn’t Greg’s last, I sure as hell hope he’s pitching in Mexico next year so I don’t have to watch him and be sad. September 6, 2008 - Dodgers 7, Diamondbacks 2
Ten times since April the Dodgers have been tied for first, but all ten times they failed to jump the Diamondbacks. On Saturday, though, it all came together for the Dodgers, as it has every day for the last week. And by "came together," I mean a lineup without Jeff Kent and Nomar Garciaparra. The Dodgers’ last loss came on August 29th—with Kent and Garciaparra in the lineup. Since then, with neither of them starting, the Dodgers are 7-0. For the fourth time in a week, the Dodgers clobbered one of Arizona’s best arms. Though Brandon Webb wiggled out of a bases loaded jam in the third inning (thanks to Manny swinging at everything in sight after Webb had just walked two guys), the Dodgers finally drew blood two innings later (thanks to Manny going yard). The Dodgers kept it coming in the sixth inning, drawing two bases loaded walks (courtesy of great ABs from Russell Martin and Andre Ethier) and a mother nature-aided double (giving Manny the two easiest RBIs he’s ever had). Offense aside, it was the Dodgers’ pitching that carried them on Saturday. Chad Billingsley’s giant legs (quickly becoming far more important to the Dodgers than Brad Penny’s giant calves) shut down the Diamondbacks for the first six innings before running into trouble in the seventh. Cory Wade escaped the jam, though, and the Dodgers entered the ninth with a 7-0 lead and a chance to completely demoralize the Diamondbacks with a second straight shutout. Three pitchers and thirty-one pitches later, the Dodgers had a 7-2 victory and first place to themselves. Exciting? Perhaps. Reason to cancel the trip to Fresno you’ve planned for October? Uh, probably not. Let’s not forget how god awful the Dodgers were just ten days ago. They can go in the shitter as quickly as Nomar can say, "Ouch, my groin hurts." September 5, 2008 - Dodgers 7, Diamondbacks 0
Friday, the Dodgers jumped all over Dan Haren and beat the Diamondbacks, 7-0. Andre Ethier just missed the cycle for the second time in a week, going 5-for-5 with five RBIs. Russell Martin emerged from his slumber, scoring three runs, and even Jason Repko, back from the dead, had his second pinch hit in the last couple days. The game, though, was won on the mound, as Derek Lowe pitched eight shutout innings, limiting Arizona to just two hits. A win on Saturday against Brandon Webb would put the Dodgers in sole possession of first place. So fifty bucks says they’ll take a 4-0 lead into the seventh inning and blow it. But don’t worry, they’ll beat the Diamondbacks on Sunday to get back to a half-game and make it interesting again. Just think, still three more weeks of this fun. September 1, 2008 - Dodgers 5, Padres 2
Monday, Greg Maddux picked up his first win for the Dodgers this season, going 5-2/3 innings and allowing two runs. It was Maddux’s 354th career victory, tying him with Roger Clemens for eighth place on the all-time list. One difference between the two, though: Maddux got to 354 without the help of Brian McNamee. The Dodgers’ offensive effort on Monday was spread throughout the lineup, with five Dodgers each knocking in a run. The Dodgers stole three bases and Casey Blake went deep. More importantly, Jonathan Broxton pitched a scoreless ninth for his 11th save—his first in ten days. (Of course he did give up a base hit on an 0-2 pitch, but who’s counting.) Actually, I’m counting… the number of guys on the Padres with ridiculously similar names. Hundley, Headley, and Hensley. Only a team from a city with places named La Mesa, Mira Mesa, Clairemont Mesa, Kearny Mesa, and Otay Mesa would have a Hundley, Headley, and Hensley. In other news, VP candidate Sarah Palin announced that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. Big news, but I’ve got even bigger news to reveal: Mark Sweeney is the father. |
There
was no mistaking that the Dodgers were being managed by Nomar
Garciaparra on Sunday afternoon in San Francisco. Swing, swing,
swing. Only problem was what followed: miss, miss, miss. Tim Lincecum
struck out thirteen Dodgers (a season high for him and the first
time in 22 years someone has recorded the first nine outs on strikeouts),
and the Giants came from behind to defeat the Dodgers, 3-1—to
the delight of San Francisco fans. Fine, San Francisco fans, delight
all you want—you're still done with baseball for the season.
And to make matters worse, you have steep hills in your city.
The
Dodgers win the division for the first time in four years... and
I'm depressed. No anticipation, no drama, no climax. The Diamondbacks
bent over and puckered up for the Cardinals earlier in the day
Thursday, giving the Dodgers the division while Dodger Stadium
was quiet and empty. Sure, there was some fun after Thursday night's
loss to the Padres, but it wasn't nearly the scene it would have
been had the Dodgers been able to clinch on their own accord.
I even would have accepted a Diamondbacks loss had they been playing
at the same time as the Dodgers. Imagine the Diamondbacks' final
score being posted on the big screen at the Dodger Stadium in
front of 55,000 rabid fans. But it wasn't to be. Instead, Dodger
fans get all the drama of clinching the division over ESPN Gamecast.
Oh, the thrill.
Taking advantage of a schedule clearly made by a Dodger fan, the Dodgers moved to within a game of clinching the Western Division on Wednesday. While the Diamondbacks struggled in St. Louis, the Dodgers feasted on an assortment of Padres minor league pitchers. A game that remained close through six innings turned into a 12-4 rout. Manny Ramirez hit his seventeenth homer as a Dodger (just three shy of the team lead), Nomar Garciaparra hit his second homer in as many days, and even Chin-Lung Hu got into the action. (Yeah, Juan Pierre too.)
There was good news and bad news on Tuesday. The good news, of course, was that the Dodgers moved their magic number two notches closer to a Division Championship. The bad news, however, was that the Dodgers moved their magic number two notches closer to a Division Championship. You see, Frank McCourt can’t exactly fire Ned Colletti if the team makes the postseason, can he? I suppose I should just be happy the Dodgers are closing in on the Division Championship and put my total disdain for Ned aside, but it’s hard for me to get all gooey about a team that’s seven games above .500 despite having a payroll almost $45 million higher than anyone else in the division. And don’t give me this Manny Ramirez shit. If a friggin’ monkey was in Colletti’s position, he would have made that deal for Ramirez. And then eaten his own poop.
If you had taken me out to Palmdale, put me in an ’86 Toyota Corolla with the windows rolled up, and let me bake in the sun for four hours in the Walmart parking lot, I’m pretty sure it would have been more enjoyable than the four hours I spent watching the Dodger game on Sunday.
The scene was a familiar one. Nomar Garciaparra, lying on the ground, a trainer at his side. It’s an image that should be emblazoned on Nomar’s plaque when he enters the Hall of Lame. In his 50th game of the year, Nomar left with another injury. He was rounding third on a Pablo Ozuna single to right, and Larry Bowa decided to have some fun by putting up the stop sign. Nomar stopped, his brittle knee buckled, and he was down for the count. Must be a bummer to be made of graham crackers.
Among the things with a better chance of happening than nine innings of scoreless ball at Coors Field: a drive from Santa Monica to Dodger Stadium taking ten minutes, a volcano erupting in Burbank, and John McCain shooting a basketball. Nonetheless, it happened—the Dodgers and Rockies entered the 10th inning on Sunday with the score tied 0-0. To make that happen it took Greg Maddux’s best start since returning to the Dodgers, Aaron Cook’s best start since the beginning of July, two strikeouts by Manny Ramirez, two scoreless innings from Cory Wade, a rare groundout off the bat of Mark Sweeney, and the absence of Andre Ethier.
As good as Manny Ramirez has been since he came to Los Angeles, and as hot as Andre Ethier has been the last month, the Dodgers’ MVP might actually be wearing a Giants uniform. His name is Eugenio Velez, and he’s taken it upon himself to ruin the Diamondbacks’ season. On Tuesday, he drove in the game-winning run in the ninth inning to beat Arizona, and on Wednesday, he did it again—this time with a 2-run ninth-inning triple on an 0-2 pitch from Brandon Lyon. Who says a Dodger fan can’t love the Giants?
You know all those warnings I dished out about not getting too excited about the Dodgers winning streak? I completely ignored them. So there I sat, watching Monday’s disgrace of a game, ready to pull my eyes out, paint them orange, and then attach them to the ceiling with masking tape. Fuckers.
On Friday, April 4th, the Dodgers had sole possession of first place—for about twelve hours. Five months later, the Dodgers are finally atop the division again. It’s a shame Esteban Loaiza isn’t still around to see it. 
By the time the Dodgers’ eight-game losing streak ended last week, I was ready to skip September and call it a season. Of course, had that been what happened, we all would have missed out on the torture that was to follow. Right now, that torture has taken the form of a six-game winning streak. My friends, the Dodgers have us right where they want us—we’re hooked again. Our pants are down and our balls are blowing in the wind.
Proving once again that their only goal is to screw with fans, the Dodgers won their third in a row on Monday—on the heels of an eight-game losing streak. Would you expect it to happen any other way? There’s a month left in the season, so that’s plenty of time for them to get hot, get within a half game of first, hit the skids and end up four games back, win six in a row, and then lose the last three games.