> 8.10.10 - '95 Dodger Fans
It was on this day fifteen years ago that the Dodgers forfeited their game against the St. Louis Cardinals after fans threw souvenir baseballs onto the field at Dodger Stadium—for the third time that night. The Dodgers accepted the forfeit, realizing that most of the fans had better arms than infielder Garey Ingram.

> 8.1.10 - Matt Kemp
Just another Sunday for Matt Kemp: 0-for-4, picked off, and misreads the game-winning liner to center.

> 7.31.10 - Blake DeWitt
Why did you have an affair with Colletti's wife, a-hole? I figure that's got to be the reason the Dodgers never had any respect for you.... so little respect that they see Ryan Theriot as an improvement.

> 6.27.10 - Orel Hershiser
Did he have stuff done to his face? Dude looks weird.

> 6.23.10 - Rihanna
Too bad Matt Kemp can't navigate the bases like he can the pubic region.

> 6.20.10 - Jon Miller
Jon Miller is still pulling that Adrian Bel-tray shit?

> 6.7.10 - Logan White
Using the Dodgers' first-round pick on a guy who won't sign.

> 5.22.10 - Manny Ramirez
Three reasons: A typical half-assed play on Friday night, a wild backswing that cost the Dodgers a stolen base on Saturday, and the fact that he has a total of two extra base hits in his last 14 games.

> 5.17.10 - John Ely
Making Frank McCourt look good for being a cheapo.

> 5.5.10 - Tommy Lasorda
It was 55 years ago today that Tommy Lasorda made his major league debut—by throwing three wild pitches in the first inning. About thirty years later the fat bastard had Tom Neidenfuer pitch to Jack Clark, about thirteen years after that he traded Paul Konerko for Jeff Shaw, and here we are today. Asshole.

> 4.25.10 - Eric Collins
Thank god James Loney got his 500th career hit on Saturday so Eric Collins can stop talking about it.

> 4.18.10 - The Other Ortiz
Russ gone. Ramon, you're next.

> 4.11.10 - Matt Kemp
A major league outfielder should never drop a fly ball. Period.

> 4.5.10 - Rafael Furcal
Does this guy have anything left? Sure as hell doesn't look like it.

> 4.1.10 - Frank McCourt
When Vicente Padilla is your #1 starter and a manager like Joe Torre justifies the naming of his fifth starter by explaining, "You have to pick somebody," it really gets fans excited for the season. Thanks, Frank.

> 3.15.10 - Al Campanis
It was on this day 35 years ago that Al Campanis, then the Dodgers GM, signed arch-nemesis Juan Marichal to a contract. (Thankfully, Marichal retired after two regular season appearances.)

> 2.20.10 - Eric Collins
I did a quick Google search to see if I could find anything about Dodgers' broadcaster Eric Collins status for the 2010 season, and what I found horrified me. No, I didn't find any mention of him returning. Almost worse: his daughters are named Beatrice and Harriet. Jesus Christ, are they 75?

> 12.4.09 - Bruce Hines
Seeing the headline on Dodgers.com I got really excited for a second. "Dodgers bring aboard Hines," it read. Ben Hines?! But then I clicked through to the article and was disappointed to see it was Bruce Hines who the Dodgers had hired—Ben's son. Ben, of course, was the Dodgers' hitting coach in the late 80's and early 90's, best remembered for... well... pretty much nothing, but it's fun to occasionally drop his name.

> 11.4.09 - Vicente Padilla
Uh-huh, hunting. Just what Nicaragua is known for.

> 10.28.09 - Both McCourts
At this point, the best thing that could happen to the Dodgers is if the team gets sold—to another family, to investors, to a couple of homeless people in Chinatown. Anybody. Soon.

> 10.21.09 - Dennis Mannion
Only referring to Ned Colletti's contract extension as "long-term," Dodgers president Dennis Mannion said the secrecy could prevent potentially disruptive speculation about Colletti's future. Oh, yes, secrecy never leads to any speculation. Is there anyone in the organization who hasn't had a fucking lobotomy?

> 10.19.09 - Matt Stairs
Get out of my goddamn life.

> 10.18.09 - Kim Ng
Dodgers' assistant GM Kim Ng interviewed on Saturday for the Padres' vacant GM position, clearly forgetting that Ned Colletti may start crying if someone doesn't hold his hand.

> 10.16.09 - Dr. Frank Jobe
Yeah, Pedro Martinez isn't tough enough to have longevity in this game. Good call, Doc.

> 10.16.09 - Jamie McCourt
According to Jamie McCourt's attorney, she's "disappointed" that the separation saga has become so public. "Jamie McCourt had desired just to focus on the Dodgers' success in postseason play," he said. Hmmmm... well maybe if she and her husband hadn't announced the fucking separation on the eve of the NLCS, we could focus on the Dodgers' postseason success (or lack there of). God, I'm going to miss Jamie.

> 10.15.09 - Davey Lopes
Former Dodger Davey Lopes, now first base coach for the Phillies, declined an invitation from the Dodgers to be part of the ceremonial first pitch on Thursday which honored the Dodgers’ infield of the 70’s: Steve Garvey, Bill Russell, Ron Cey, and, yeah, Lopes. Well guess what, a-hole—your years with the Dodgers are why you’re still on a major league field. I understand that you probably didn’t want to appear like you’re sleeping with the enemy, but I think your Phillies uniform probably would have sent that message. Dick.

> 10.14.09 - Shane Victorino
Can't wait for him to go 10-for-12 in the series. Hawaiian punk. Hope he chokes on a sugar cane.

> 10.10.09 - Dodger fans
Two days after blowing Game Two by dropping a fly ball, Matt Holliday received a standing ovation from Cardinals fans in the first inning on Saturday. A classy move—one that you would never see from Dodger fans if the situation was flipped. You'd see batteries on the field, you'd see a lot of middle fingers, and you'd probably see a drunk fan tackled by security. A standing ovation you would not see.

> 10.8.09 - Adam Wainwright
Dude pitched a hell of a game, but you have to lose some respect for the guy when he whines about towel-waving Dodger fans. "It doesn't really seem fair that an opposing team should be able to allow their fans to shake white towels when there's a white baseball flying through the air," he said. "How about Dodger Blue towels?" Or, Wainwrong, how about realizing that Dodger fans are waving the same goddamn towels when Clayton Kershaw is trying to close out an inning, when Jonathan Broxton is going for a strikeout, or when Nancy Bea Hefley is rocking her organ? Sore loser.

> 10.7.09 - Touchy-Feely Fans
Look, I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, and I'm all for getting excited when the Dodgers score, but is there any way you can get excited without high-fiving me and everyone else within arms distance? Frankly, you look like you haven't showered in a week and I'm not in the market for random feces particles. Touch your pregnant girlfriend instead—who, by the way, should NOT be wearing that miniskirt.

> 10.4.09 - Don Mattingly
The Dodgers struggle to score runs for two weeks, and what happens when Juan Castro is appointed batting coach after Joe Torre turns over the reins to Brad Ausmus for a day? The Dodgers score four runs in the first inning.

> 10.2.09 - Ronald Belisario
A high fastball right over the plate on an 0-2 count. Beautiful.

> 9.30.09 - Frank McCourt
As Dodger fans contemplate the prospects of a meaningful Dodgers-Rockies series and see disaster, you can bet that Frank McCourt is seeing something else: sellouts.

> 9.29.09 - All of them
Too disgusted to even write anything. Hope they lose the Western Division.

> 9.27.09 - Jonathan Broxton
Congratulations, big guy—four runs in the ninth to the Pirates. Not an easy feat.

> 9.23.09 - Everett Raymond Kinstler
No wonder why Tommy Lasorda said "This is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me" after Everett Raymond Kinstler's portrait of Lasorda was unveiled at the Smithsonian's National Portrait Gallery: he was painted at his high school weight. Did Kinstler run out of paint, or does the paintbrush really take off a hundred pounds?

> 9.19.09 - Brad Penny
Was there anything sweeter than seeing Brad Penny give up a grand slam within the first five minutes of his return to Dodger Stadium?

> 9.14.09 - Chin-Feng Chen
It was on this day seven years ago that Chin-Feng Chen became the first Taiwan-born player to appear in the majors. He walked and scored as a pinch-hitter in his debut. Over the following three years I think he got on base once.

> 9.7.09 - Clayton Kershaw
Has Clayton Kershaw been hanging out with Jason Repko? Before Sunday's game, Kershaw apparently ran into the outfield wall while shagging fly balls and now he's been scratched from his next start. Great job, kid.

> 9.3.09 - Jason Repko
Note to Jason Repko: Leave the post-game celebratory jump-and-bumps to outfielders who've been doing them all season. Nobody needs you breaking Matt Kemps spinal cord.

> 9.2.09 - Brad Penny
Brad Penny pitches a shutout in his first start for San Francisco. Great, should be a ton of fun when the Dodgers face him—especially considering they can't score against anyone.

> 8.31.09 - Ronnie Belliard
Ronnie Belliard has been a Dodger for less than 24 hours, and it looks like he's spent half of it in the All-You-Can-Eat Pavilion.

> 8.27.09 - Stan Conte
With Jason Schmidt back on the 60-day DL and officially done for the year, just wanted to give one last shout out to Stan Conte, who gave Schmidt a clean bill of health when the Dodgers signed him three years ago. Thanks Stan, the Dodgers are forever in your debt—I mean, in debt.

> 8.25.09 - Eric Young
Did Eric Young have a kid at age 14 or am I just a hundred years old?

> 8.23.09 - Rafael Furcal
If a guy is hitting 30 home runs and driving in 100, I can deal with a .323 OBP. But a leadoff hitter with a .323 OBP? That's just shit. In fact, he should change his name from Furcal to Fecal.

> 8.22.09 - Cancer
Dodgers' radiotelewebethon ends tonight at 11pm. Donate at thinkcure.org.

> 8.19.09 - Ned Colletti
Vicente Padilla was the Rangers' problem child... and now he's the Dodgers' problem. Meanwhile Cliff Lee pitches a 2-hitter for the Phillies. Thanks Ned.

> 8.18.09 - Matt Kemp
In an online chat with fans today, here's Kemp's response to a question about having his own bobblehead night: "I already had one in Double-A." Oh, sorry Matt—forgot that you've been a stud your whole life. Thanks for reminding us.

> 8.17.09 - Me
Once again, you have me to blame. I got home at about 8:45 and turned on the game to see that knuckleballer Charlie Haeger had given up just a run over six innings. Two pitches later, however, he hits Ryan Ludwick. Next batter—home run.

> 8.16.09 - Brad Ausmus
Saw some replays of Hiroki Kuroda's injury, and I'm pretty sure that Brad Ausmus could have caught the ball before it bounced into the stands.

> 8.11.09 - Charley Steiner & Rick Monday
I realize that this is the second time in less than 10 days that these dudes are Assholes of the Moment, but I have to ask an important question: Do they realize that people who are listening on the radio can't actually see the game?

> 8.10.09 - Jonathan Broxton
A home run, a single, and two hard hit outs. What a convincing save. With just six strikeouts over his last nine innings, I'm betting something's wrong. Maybe it's his toe, maybe it's something else. Either way, big boy needs to come clean.

> 8.8.09 - Darren Dreifort
It was on this day nine years ago that Darren Dreifort had his best game of his career—hitting two home runs.

> 8.5.09 - Ryan Braun
Dishing out punishments for Tuesday night's little episode, Major League Baseball fined both Guillermo Mota and Prince Fielder on Thursday. Talking about Tuesday's run-in, Brewers' outfielder Ryan Braun had this to say: "Prince handled it great. He’s really able to stay within himself." Stay within himself? Clearly Braun just doesn't want to get eaten.

> 8.2.09 - Charley Steiner & Rick Monday
If you happened to be listening to the last few innings of Sunday's game on the radio, you probably didn't know the score. You did, however, know that poor Rick and Charley would have to take a 5-hour flight after the game—because it's all they talked about for a fucking hour. Goddamn babies.

> 7.31.09 - Bill Plaschke
One day he's calling Manny Ramirez a disgrace, the next he's talking about getting chills watching Manny's magical grand slam, and now (in Friday's paper) he's writing about how Manny was an even bigger cheater than we all thought. Hey, if Manny cheated for ten years, at least he was consistent—which is much more than you can say about Plaschke. Douche rag.

> 7.29.09 - Me
So I got into my car tonight and turned on 790 just in time to hear Broxton blow a save with two outs in the ninth. Got home, had to take care of a couple things, and then turned on the TV just in time to see Ramon Troncoso blow a lead in the bottom of the 11th. It ended up being a pretty good game, of course, with guys thrown out at the plate, some great defensive plays, and Joe Friggin' Thurston called out on an appeal after missing first base, but the Dodgers lost in the 15th and I take the blame. I mean, not blame for the fact that Jeff Weaver grooved one to Albert Pujols, but for the fact that the Dodgers would have won had I simply not turned on the game—twice.

> 7.28.09 - Julio Lugo
It was only a run-scoring infield single, but it was enough to make me want to crush his little head even more than it already looks crushed. A-hole.

> 7.25.09 - Russell Martin
Just a tip for Russell Martin: when a guy steals second, he'll typically be coming from first base. I'm no expert, but you may want to consider throwing down toward the right side of the bag.

> 7.19.09 - Orlando Hudson
It's nice how considerate Orlando Hudson is of other players, not wanting to brush up against someone without warning them first, but after hurting his wrist Sunday by gently touching Russ Ortiz's back as he passed him in the baseline, here's my new rule for Orlando: don't touch a fucking thing except the baseball and your bat. Don't touch other players, don't touch the Gatorade cooler, don't even touch your own dick. Gotta piss? Call the friggin' batboy. Need a drink? Lick your own sweat. Fragile freak.

> 7.16.09 - Steve Lyons
It was on this day nineteen years ago that Steve Lyons, then a member of the White Sox, made his mark on baseball by dropping his pants to brush away dirt after sliding into first base. Some example he sets for kids—after all, sliding into first actually slows you down.

> 7.12.09 - Eric Milton
On the shelf with a back injury, Eric Milton isn't sure if he'll be able to pitch again this season. Great, now the Dodgers might have to go out and get another pitcher like, oh, say Roy Halladay. Such a shame about Milton.

> 7.8.09 - Andruw Jones
In a span of five innings on Wednesday night in Anaheim, Andruw Jones hit as many home runs as he did all of last year with the Dodgers. I'm not a particularly religious person, but I feel very confident in saying that Jones is going to hell—paid for by the Dodgers, of course.

> 7.5.09 - Shane Victorino
For the love of God, don't let Phillies fans pick Shane Victorino as the NL's Final Vote. Whether you choose Matt Kemp, Christian Guzman, or even San Francisco's Pablo Sandoval, just keep Victorino away from St. Louis on July 14th. That's all I ask.

> 7.3.09 - Dodger fans in San Diego
I didn't think it was possible, but you give Dodgers fans in LA a bad name.

> 6.27.09 - Ronald Belisario
Whether or not Ronald Belisario is guilty of driving under the influence, I'm guessing he may be guilty of something else: eating dinner at Wokano, probably the only restaurant in the area open at that time—and probably the worst sushi I've ever had. On a more serious note, not only should baseball have a punishment for a player found guilty of a DUI, but it should actually be more severe than the punishment for using a banned substance.

> 6.24.09 - Alyssa Milano
Alyssa Milano writes on her blog that she's in Utah filming a movie. She also writes that Russell Martin was among her all-star votes. That being the case, I ask Alyssa this question: Are you filming a movie in Utah, or on the fucking moon?

> 6.21.09 - Jim Tracy
Have Jim Tracy's Rockies won fourteen of the last fifteen? Yes. Does it have the slightest thing to do with Jim Tracy? No chance in hell.

> 6.16.09 - Stephen McKeever
It was on this day in 1933 that Brooklyn Dodgers president Stephen McKeever traded 1932 batting champ Lefty O'Doul and 20-game winner Watty Clark to the Giants for first baseman Sam Leslie... who went on to hit just 14 home runs for the Dodgers.

> 6.14.09 - Eric Collins
Eric, it's ok to use crazy baseball terms like "3rd baseman", "home run", and "fastball". Really, you don't have to come up with announcer-like alternatives for everything. You sound kind of douchey.

> 6.13.09 - Andruw Jones
Thankfully the Dodgers won on Saturday. If they hadn't, I wouldn't be here to write this.

> 6.12.09 - Jonathan Broxton
So, Jonathan Broxton and his wife have had their first child. What did they name the 26 pounder? Jonathan. What creativity.

> 6.9.09 - Manny Ramirez
"I didn't kill nobody, I didn't rape nobody, so that's it, I'm just going to come and play the game," said Manny on Tuesday. Way to own up to your actions, buddy—you're the best.

> 6.7.09 - Joe Morgan
On Sunday, Joe Morgan shared a variety of insights, including the fact that he won an MVP award and a World Series championship in the same year, and that one of Davey Lopes' Gold Gloves really should have gone to him instead. Thanks, Joe, you really help fans to understand the game—mainly that it'll be a much better game when you die.

> 6.4.09 - Dodgers graphics department
I'm embarrassed it took me two months to notice this, but the Dodgers should probably be a little more embarrassed: Jonathan Broxton's name is misspelled on all of the posters around the stadium. There are marathons, telethons, and walkathons... but I don't think there's anything called a Jonathon.

> 6.1.09 - Travis Schlichting
If you're old enough to be called up by the Dodgers, you're old enough to change your last name. Do it.

> 5.28.09 - Jim Tracy
Am I happy to be the new manager of the Rockies? Yes. Do I deserve to keep getting managerial opportunities at the Major League level? Absolutely not.

> 5.27.09 - Eric Gagne
Gagne, who signed Wednesday with the Quebec Capitales of the Can-Am League, says he'd love to eventually return to the Dodgers. Hmmm... a lousy couple of seasons, a torn rotator cuff, and a history of steroids. Thanks, Eric, we'll pass.

> 5.25.09 - Rafael Furcal
Furcal was scratched from Monday's lineup because of—and I quote—"tightness in his buttocks." Literally, then, he's the Asshole of the Moment.

> 5.24.09 - Torri Hunter
As a baseball fan, it's a treat to watch Torri Hunter play centerfield. As a Dodger fan, I'd like to see him look at the sun too long and go blind.

> 5.20.09 - Juan Pierre
Juan-for-Two doesn't quite have the same ring as Juan-for-Four, does it?

> 5.17.09 - Cody Ross
Since I was away this weekend, I have to retroactively give former Dodger Cody Ross the proper recognition for breaking up Clayton Kershaw's no-hitter Sunday. A-hole.

> 5.14.09 - Jayson Werth
So, Jayson—you like those four strikeouts Thursday to go with your four steals Tuesday? That'll teach you not to have an extraneous Y in your name.

> 5.12.09 - Andruw Jones
Two home runs today makes it EIGHT for the season. EIGHT. Are you friggin' kidding me? I typically don't wish death upon anyone, but Jones is honestly testing me.

Update: Ok, so apparently Fatty doesn't have 8 home runs. A friend gave me the bad info, and I didn't bother to verify, instead launching into a violent tirade. I take back what I said, and wish instead for my friend to die.

> 5.9.09 - Brett Tomko
Well, looks like our favorite former Dodger has just been called up by the Yankees after going 1-0 with an 0.64 ERA in 10 appearances at Triple-A Scranton. I'm not quite sure how this imacts the Dodgers, but when do we get to the point where I no longer have to hear this guy's name?

> 5.7.09 - Manny Ramirez
Hmmm... you think? As much as Bruce Aven is an asshole for the 10th anniversary of his grand slam against the Dodgers, I think Manny Ramirez slightly edges him out today.

> 5.6.09 - Bruce Aven
It was on this day ten years ago that Bruce Aven hit the first pinch-hit grand slam in Marlin history, helping Florida beat the Dodgers, 6-3. Aven, of course, went on to play for the Dodgers... although he didn't actually play so much as just suck. Joke's on him, though—his name is Bruce.

> 5.5.09 - Joe Beimel
Just in time to likely help the Nationals ruin the Dodgers' home streak, Joe Beimel has been activated from the disabled list.

> 5.3.09 - James Loney
Loney is hitting a solid .293. Imagine if he didn't swing like a bad Japanese guy.

> 5.2.09 - Russell Martin
With three hits Saturday, Martin raised his average to .224. Way to go, Russell. Now you're totally justified walking around like you're such a bad-ass.

> 4.30.09 - Andre Ethier
While I'm impressed with the 12-pitch at-bats Ethier seems to regularly have, I'd be more impressed if he didn't ground into a double-play every goddamn game.

> 4.28.09 - Ned Colletti
The fact that Jonathan Broxton is being used twice a week to get five outs re-emphasizes one thing: Colletti completely ignored the bullpen this offseason.

> 4.26.09 - This dude
Not only does this guy waste precious space on the internet with this, but he's got the nerve to charge 94 cents for it? A-hole.

> 4.22.09 - Southwest Airlines Asian Lady
I can't fucking take it anymore. If I see this commercial one more time during a Dodger game, I'm never flying Southwest again. Or getting into an elevator again—especially with Asian women.

> 4.21.09 - Eric Collins
Today marked the debut of Eric Collins on the Dodgers' TV broadcast. To be honest, I didn't catch the broadcast, but he's not Vin Scully, so F him.

> 4.18.09 - Andruw Jones
Two weeks into the season, and Bag of Shit (a.k.a. Andruw Jones) is batting .545 and has already scored eight runs—practically half of what he scored all of last season for the Dodgers. Do they not have candy bars in Texas?

> 4.16.09 - Doug Mientkiewicz
The only thing more ridiculous than the spelling of Doug's last name was his slide in the sixth inning Thursday night. Hello, DL... goodbye, Doug.

> 4.15.09 - Ronald Belisario
Hey Ronnie, never hurts to start searching those Craigslist apartment listings in Albuquerque. Here's one.

> 4.13.09 - Manny Ramirez
"I would like to play for Cleveland one more time, to go back where I started," said Manny to USA Today this weekend. "I think to go back where you started is everyone's dream." Really? How about let us believe—even just for Opening Day—that making twenty-five million dollars to play in front of 3.5 million obsessed fans is everyone's dream. What a dick. Can't wait to watch his next at-bat.

> 4.11.09 - Wolfgang Puck
Mister L.A., Wolfgang Puck? Don't let that happen. Go to the Los Angeles Magazine 'Mister LA' contest, and for the love of God, vote for Vin Scully.

> 4.10.09 - Joe Torre
Second inning, Dodgers are up 1-0 and have guys on 1st and 2nd with one out. James McDonald is up, and works a 3-1 count (already Jon Garland's fifth tree-ball count of the game). So what does Joe Torre do? Let's McDonald swing away... right into an inning-ending double play. Idiotic. Either have him bunt, or just take pitches until he walks or strikes out. Worst that can happen is that Rafael Furcal comes up with two on and two out. I don't get it.

> 4.9.09 - Andrew Gallo
If ever there was an Asshole of the Moment, it’s this guy, who despite a suspended license from a previous drunk driving conviction, barreled through a red light in Fullerton early Thursday morning, killing three people—Angels’ pitcher Nick Adenhart among them. And as if it couldn’t get any more sickening, we were all forced to see that Scott Boras is actually a human being.

> 4.6.09 - David Eckstein
For some reason, I just want to break this guy’s little arms off and throw him in a cellar with Craig Counsell. Oh well, at least Vinny referred to him as "smallish" on Monday.

> 4.5.09 - Ned Colletti
Derek Lowe in his Braves debut: 8 innings, 2 hits, 0 runs. Yeah, who needs him.

> 4.2.09 - Eric Milton
Two innings on Wednesday: eight earned runs. Now he's headed to Albuquerque where he'll take a roster spot away from a kid who may actually have a future. Awesome.

> 3.30.09 - Casey Blake
George? He names his baby George? Jesus chirst, is the baby 65 years old? What an asshole.

> 3.25.09 - Chad Billingsley
Broken leg... strained groin... Do we have a Dreifort in the making? There's only 13 wins and $55 million separating the two.

> 3.21.09 - Joe Beimel
Joe Beimel finally found a taker on Friday, signing with the Nationals for $2 million. Beimel had a 2.02 ERA last season with the Dodgers, he's a lefty, and he's consistent—and it took him more than four months to find someone willing to pay him just slightly more than the $1.9 million he made in 2008?? We all know about his past issues, but here's guessing that he's got a lot more than any of us know about.

> 3.16.09 - Jason Schmidt
"I'm not thinking about Opening Day or five days from then," said Jason Schmidt on Monday after it was basically announced that he'll be starting the season on the DL again. "I don't have a set timetable. I'll just let it dictate itself." Great, so he has no problem cashing the Dodgers' paychecks, but setting a timetable for returning—that's too unreasonable.

> 3.10.09 - Claudio Vargas
On Tuesday Claudio Vargas managed to do what only three people had done all of last year—give up a home run to Andruw Jones. Safe to say that Vargas is no longer a candidate for the rotation?

> 3.7.09 - Jamie McCourt
Created by Jamie McCourt, DodgersWIN (Women's Initiatives Network) is designed to "reach out to women and bring them closer to the game of baseball." Hmmm... bringing women closer to the game of baseball. Oh, you mean like giving Jeanne Zelasko an opportunity to audition for the vacancy on the Dodgers' broadcasting team? Oh, I guess that would be bringing a woman too close to the game of baseball, huh Jamie?

> 3.4.09 - Ned Colletti
I have no problem letting Ned revel in the glory of finally signing Manny Ramirez. Do, do, do.... Ok, that's long enough, because as Manny was taking his physical on Wednesday, Colletti's last signee (Orlando Hudson) was being scratched from the lineup with a sore wrist—yes, the same surgically-repaired wrist that scared off every other team.

> 3.3.09 - ESPN Deportes
Don't screw with me, señors! If you're reporting that Manny and the Dodgers are possibly just hours away from a deal, you'd better damn well be correcto.

> 2.28.09 - Doug Mientkiewicz
My biggest nightmare has come true: I may have to start spelling Mientkiewicz on a regular basis.

> 2.26.09 - Scott Boras
After rejecting the Dodgers' fourth offer to Manny—a measly $45 million guaranteed and an opt-out clause—is there any doubt that Scott Boras is the worst person on the face of the Earth? I hope he wakes up tomorrow morning with a tapeworm in his balls.

Update: With reports that latest rejection is more about deferred money than it is about contract length, could it be that an agreement isn't actually that far off?

> 2.23.09 - Odalis Perez
How do you know your career is over? You're released by the Washington Nationals for being a dick. See you in hell, Odalis.

> 2.18.09 - Larry Bowa
Larry Bowa at odds with a former player? Shocking.

> 2.11.09 - Darryl Strawberry
So now I know what Darryl Strawberry was doing in the late 80s while I was busy spending $110 for his now worthless rookie card.

> 2.5.09 - Bernard Madoff
Sure, he defrauded his investors for almost $50 billion, but it wasn't until Thursday's news that I really started to hate this guy: Sandy Koufax was among Madoff's investors.

> 2.1.09 - Batting Stance Guy
What kind of loser imitates batting stances of current and former Dodgers without doing Tripp Cromer? Actually, this guy's pretty good. Pay special attention to the Shawn Green imitation.

> 1.27.09 - Joe Torre
I guess there's no love lost between Joe Torre and Alex Rodriguez because all of Joe's love is directed to Tanyon Fuckin' Sturtze. After pitching for Torre in New York, Sturtze joined the Dodgers for three games in August before being designated for assignment later that month. Well, he's back. Sturtze agreed to a minor league deal with the Dodgers on Tuesday, and rumor has it the deal includes a Valentine's Day dinner with Torre.

> 1.23.09 - DB
Ok, ok, the Dodgers' Triple-A affiliate is back in Albuquerque, and I didn't know. You can stop sending me emails. But seriously, when the F did that happen?

> 1.21.09 - Jason Repko
Jason Repko demands a trade? Say it ain't so! If he's not around, who will the Dodgers put on the DL in April?

> 1.15.09 - Ned Colletti
"We all had high hopes for him when he signed last year given his track record and everything that we had seen from him in the past and heard about him," said Ned Colletti after the Dodgers officially released Andruw Jones on Thursday. Really, Ned? Everything you had seen from him in the past? Like the fact that his power had steadily declined for three straight seasons? Like the fact that he hit .222 in 2007? If you had high hopes for him based on that, you're truly a moron.

> 1.12.09 - Baseball Writers Association of America
Lee Smith: 240 votes. Jesse Orosco: 1 vote. No justice, I tell ya.

> 1.7.09 - Ned Colletti
He lets Joe Beimel go so he can make an offer to Dennys Fuckin' Reyes? Is there something I'm missing?

> 1.3.09 - Rafael Furcal
Clearly someone needs to tell Rafael Furcal to stay away from Andruw Jones. From this picture of them in the Dominican Republic, it looks like Furcal is six months pregnant. (Click on photo to enlarge.)