.2002

> 12.10.02 - Todd Hundley
So, Todd admits that back in '99 his elbow hurt so bad every day that he worried about blowing it out. Yet he said nothing. He just went out there, behind the plate, and THREW EVERY FUCKING BALL INTO CENTERFIELD. Thanks, Todd. Thanks for allowing 13,000 runners to steal second.

> 12.7.02 - Dan Evans
No salary arbitration offered to Tyler Houston??? Tyler Houston a free agent? Aw, come on!

> 12.3.02 - Dan Evans
No explanation needed.

> 11.15.02 - Manny Mota
What the hell, he doesn't get much press these days.

> 11.5.02 - Dan Evans
Well, Big Danny didn't waste any time. It's a week into the offseason, and he signs a guy with a blown out arm—to a TWO YEAR DEAL. Rumor has it Evans is also pursuing Mike Sharperson.

> 11.1.02 - Brian Jordan
So, Brian Jordan files a trade demand, citing his interest in being closer to his family in Atlanta. It's not about money, he says. But should the Dodgers extend his contract, Jordan says he'd welcome the opportunity to stay in Los Angeles. Not about money?

> 10.27.02 - Bud Selig
You're the f'ing commisioner of baseball. The least you could do is learn how to pronounce "Glaus." (Actually, I don't even know which way is right... but who cares, Selig is still an asshole.)

> 10.24.02 - Jon Miller
Jon Miller's comments during the ESPN radio broadcast of Game 5: "Barry Bonds should be allowed to walk as far away from home plate as he wants [during an at-bat] because that's why everyone is watching." REALLY, JON? Nobody is watching because two Wild Card teams are in the Series? Nobody is watching because the Angels have made it further than ever before? No, no, no... all we care about is Bonds. TAKE THE FUCKING TWINKIES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, JON. Get a goddamn clue. You're not doing a Giants broadcast. It's called neutrality. Take a lesson from Vin Scully and try it. Fat ass.

> 10.20.02 - DodgerBlues Visitors
This isn't an Angels' website. I'm not going to update the site every time Fox shows a picture of Gene Autry. Leave me alone.

> 9.28.02 - Tom Goodwin
This guy is the fucking devil. As if elimination at the hands of San Francisco isn't painful enough, Tom Goodwin had the big blow, a 2-run double that put the Giants ahead 5-2 and shoved the knife deeper into the Dodgers' crotch. Piece of crap asshole.

> 9.26.02 - Jaime Jarrin
The season is almost over, and there's been no mention of our favorite Spanish broadcaster on DodgerBlues.com. In lieu of a better place to mention him, here you go.

> 9.25.02 - San Diego Padres
The Padres fight like dogs against the Dodgers, and then go to San Francisco to roll over and die. Thanks for the help.

> 9.20.02 - Souvenir Vendors
Not even big, fat people trying to find their fucking seats in the 4th inning block views of the field like those souvenir vendors at Dodger Stadium. Once a game a stupid kid will drop $10 on an enormous foam hand, but is it really necessary to carry that 300-pound load of crap up and down the aisles? Assholes.

> 9.19.02 - A Martinez
Not even Rick Monday likes this guy, and Monday is drunk. Martinez is spineless, insecure, boring, and to top it off, doesn't have a first name.

> 9.16.02 - Paul Shuey
As if he wasn't bad enough, isn't Paul Shuey's waistline a little high?

> 9.15.02 - Adrian Beltre
The time has come: send Beltre up to the plate without a bat. After two pitches, give him a bat.

> 9.14.02 - Major League Umpires
You'd think that as a new crop of major league umpires becomes more experienced, they'd do a better job. Well, you'd be wrong. Never have there been so many shitty calls in one season. Whether they've gone for or against the Dodgers, it's embarassing. Haul in some cheeseburgers and bring back Eric Gregg.

> 9.12.02 - Eric Karros
Eric Karros is not quick. That's no secret. But it can't help that his mane of hair hasn't been cut since '98. Asshole.

> 9.8.02 - Ambulance Driver
Godammit, do we have to go through this again? Stay off the fucking grass.

> 9.7.02 - John Shelby
Why not. He just stands there quietly, and no one ever bashes him. Well, his free ride is over. Now he's an asshole.

> 9.2.02 - Mike Kinkade
It's a home run. Slow down.

> 8.26.02 - Ambulance Driver
Yeah, yeah, there's a player down on the field, but the groundskeepers take a lot of time and energy to keep the turf in good shape. The least the ambulance driver could do is stay on the dirt. Jesus.

> 8.20.02 - Kevin Brown
Well, Brown is back, and he's pitching as expected. Grandpa Brown gave up 3 runs in 3 innings on Tuesday against the Marlins, and was scored on in his return over the weekend. The question is no longer whether Kevin Brown will ever pitch like Kevin Brown again. The question is whether Kevin Brown will ever pitch like Dave Mlicki again.

> 8.17.02 - Gary Cederstrom
On an appeal to first base, umpire Gary Cederstrom took away Odalis Perez's perfect game, ruling that Rey Ordonez didn't go around on a 3-2 pitch. Dick.

> 8.15.02 - Kevin Brown
In anticipation of Brown re-injuring himself within a week, he's the Asshole of the Moment.

> 8.11.02 - Mark Grudzielanek
Twice over the weekend, Grudzielanek hits a home run to bail out a bullpen collapse. Instead of attention given to the failure of the 'pen, the Dodgers win and everything is lovey dovey. BUT EVERYTHING IS NOT lovey dovey! So Mark, please stop taking the bullpen off the hook.

> 8.9.02 - Paul Shuey
Someone please bring back Terry Mulholland. NOW, GODDAMIT!

> 8.1.02 - Dan Iassogna
An inside pitch, and Gagne gets booted out of nowhere. Of all the problems baseball has, this is one of the biggest: the elimination of the intimidation pitch. It's part of baseball tradition, but because of body armor and umpires' ridiculous no-tolerance policy, pitchers are in trouble. Gagne wasn't even trying to nail Dunn, and he gets kicked out. Iassogna, USE SOME COMMON GODDAMN SENSE.

> 7.28.02 - Eric Karros
Karros leaves the team to be with his wife, who was having a kid. Fine, fair enough. But DON'T COMPLAIN WHEN YOU COME BACK AND SPEND AN EXTRA DAY OUT OF THE LINEUP. Your replacement had a great game the day before, and you barely made it to the stadium for game time. Just shut up and deal.

> 7.21.02 - Tom Goodwin
Fucker. Fucker. Fucker. Fucker. Fucker. Fucker. Fucker. Fucker.

> 7.20.02 - Tom Goodwin
Typical situation: Player X completely blows while on the Dodgers. Finally, Dodgers release Player X and pay his $3 million salary. Three months later, Player X beats Dodgers with game-winning base hit. Player X is an asshole.

> 7.9.02 - Fox & Bob Uecker
The All-Star game is about the guys on the field, NOT THE FUCKING ANNOUNCERS. As if Tim McCarver isn't bad enough, they've got to bring in Bob Uecker for an inning? You've got a guy on the mound who shattered the record for saves in the first half of the season, and they don't even mention him. Too busy jacking eachother off in the booth. Assholes.

> 7.2.02 - Bob Brenly
Picking Damian Miller and Benito Santiago for the All-Star game over Paul Lo Duca is just plain stupid. Lo Duca may not have the arm of either of those guys, but he's hitting 50 points higher and has done a damn good job with the Dodgers' pitching staff, which happens to be second in the league in ERA. Brenly said he chose Santiago because he was batting .500 against the Diamondbacks. Great, he picks an All-Star based on 12 at-bats? F Brenly.

> 6.30.02 - Rex Hudler
Horrible, horrible announcer. Makes Rick Monday seem like Vin Scully. What an asshole.

> 6.27.02 - Bob Brenly
In anticipation of Arizona manager Bob Brenly screwing L.A. by passing on a couple of Dodgers who deserve to be All-Stars, he's the Asshole of the Moment... along with Craig Counsell, who's so easy to hate.

> 6.21.02 - Eric Karros
Hey! You slow fuck! DON'T STEAL SECOND. The friggin' Pope moves quicker than you. And at least he'd be smart enough to just stay on first.

> 6.20.02 - Jim Gott
The guy was an OK reliever, and now he's hosting Coca Cola trivia games at the stadium. Enough already. Just put the fucking trivia question on Diamondvision. Don't need to see Jim Gott congratulating a fan on winning a free soft drink. It's a bit sad. Not to mention cheap. Probably not Jim Gott's idea, but his participation makes him pathetic. Maybe not an asshole, but what the hell.

> 6.10.02 - Kevin Brown's son
Your dad is making $105 million dollars. That's not enough for you? You have to go play with the grump? Next time pick on someone your own size.

> 6.5.02 - Billy Ashley
Just 'cuz.

> 5.26.02 - Paul Quantrill-Trombley
Nice inning on Sunday. Quantrill-Trombley walked three, gave up four hits, four runs, and made a terrible play on a bunt, ignoring his teammates' yells to throw the ball to third. Dick.

> 5.23.02 - Dodger Blues Webmaster
I have no choice but to declare myself the asshole of the moment. On Tuesday morning I dropped Shawn Green from my Yahoo fantasy team. I had stuck with him all season, and enough was enough. He was batting a pathetic .230 and his power had disappeared. So what's he done in the three games since I dropped him? Six home runs, 9 hits, 10 RBIs, and about 350 total bases. Plain and simple, I'm an asshole.

> 5.21.02 - Jim Tracy
Obviously modeling himself after Tommy Lasorda, Tracy seems to be getting in the habit of leaving struggling pitchers in the game WAY too long. Leaving Carrara in Tuesday's game long enough to give up 5 runs is inexcusable.

> 5.18.02 - Tim McClelland
In the second inning of Friday's game against the Expos, first base umpire Tim McClelland ruled that Montreal right fielder Vladimir Guerrero made a diving catch of Mark Grudzielanek's sinking liner before doubling Lo Duca off second. TV replays showed Guerrero trapped the ball. TV replays also showed McClelland's head up his ass.

> 5.16.02 - Hiram Bocachica
Bocachica attempted to bunt in the 6th inning of Thursday's game against Montreal. Reminiscent of Kevin Brown last year, Hiram stuck his entire hand around the barrel of the bat and got nailed by the pitch. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO BUNT? These guys are major-fuckin'-leaguers and they have no goddamn fundamentals. Hire Brett Butler, stick a water bottle in his back pocket, and let him teach.

> 5.13.02 - Jim Tracy
When you're tied in the 13th inning, and Eric Karros is on base, you pinch-run for the slow fuck. It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out. Karros eventually scored the winning run, so no one will second-guess Tracy (except us), but that's a bad move. If they don't score, big deal. You move Lo Duca to first and put Kreuter behind the plate.

> 5.5.02 - Chad Kreuter
If Chad doesn't get in a fight with another fan soon, it's going to be very disappointing that the Dodgers have kept him this long. Back-up catchers aren't supposed to be great, but Kreuter sucks. He's hitting .136 and he bleaches his hair.

> 4.30.02 - Dodger pitchers
It's time for the Dodger pitchers to learn how to get a fucking bunt down. Screwing up a sacrifice can cost them just as much as making a bad pitch, yet they spend little time practicing to bunt, and no one talks about that. Something is wrong.

> 4.23.02 - Odalis Perez
Perez obviously doesn't realize what it means to be a Dodger. You're supposed to suck. You're supposed to fail. You're supposed to lose. Instead, he was 2-0 with a 1.53 ERA this past week, and was named National League Player of the Week. For that success, and his attempt to ruin DodgerBlues.com, Odalis Perez is an asshole.

> 4.21.02 - Terry Mulholland
Mulholland continues to embarrass himself and baseball. Giving up 2 home runs on Sunday before recording an out, Mulholland's ERA is now back up to 15.26 (he had lowered it to 14.84). Just drop dead, Terry.

> 4.14.02 - Terry Mulholland
The 64-year-old Mulholland is showing why he's been on something like 5 teams in the last 5 years: he totally blows. After giving up 2 home runs in 2 2/3 innings on Saturday, Mulholland has now given up 5 home runs in 4 innings this year. And has a lovely 21.21 ERA.

> 4.10.02 - Hiram Bocachica
Apparently lacking some baseball fundamentals, Bocachica failed to go halfway between second and third on a deep drive by Beltre. Instead, Bocachica went back to tag, and was only able to make it to third when Beltre's ball ended up caroming off the wall. Bocachica's stupidity cost the Dodgers a run, and they eventually lost 2-1. (His 4/11 home run is a step towards redemption.)